A possibly sensitive question…

If someone doesn’t know about your culture or ethnicity, are you okay with them asking you questions, if they do it respectfully, or do you find it offensive ?

(Personally I’d rather be asked than have the person making assumptions that are [b]really[/b] insulting.)🙁

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Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

I agree it's better to be asked, but after a while it gets boring!
Especially if I'm not asking them sh*t!
But does that mean I'm not really interested?
Does that mean I've lost the art of communication?

I see a lot of people asking each other a lot of things.

I think because it's related to race, I feel a bit touchy whereas when someone from my own ethnic group were to ask although I answer I would also still find it weird.

This I'm slowly learning to just ignore as being a "irritant".

I suppose there's that thing at the back of my mind, am I being a traitor?

Hurtful things said in the past "uncle Tom" "coconut" "he's only dating you because you're the latest trend"
It sticks..

bijouxbroussard · F

@Mellowgirl I’ve heard those things, too— because of my interests, because of the way I speak. But when people assume things about me, I’d rather they’d ask so that they can be educated. In my country, education was how a black middle class came into being, how a lot of prominent black families came out of poverty. These are things even some black people here don’t know.

And some Africans don’t know that that middle class fought to change immigration quotas that limited the numbers of black Africans (and other groups of color) who could come here (while Europeans could emigrate here in droves). Middle and upper class black American families sponsored students from several African countries initially to attend our HBCUs and after integration, other schools of their choices.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@bijouxbroussard I think of these last few years have taught me anything it's that were all to blame for these mentalities.
Like you've said above why isn't there more promotion of these good things?

Did we really need another race to pat us on the back and say here let's promote this or should we have been raising our own up and self promoting?