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Cierzo I was sexually assaulted in college. Took a drink that was drugged, probably with rohypnol, intended for another person-- and ended up in a strange place bleeding out of my ass.
I didn't report it. Never did report it. That seems incomprehensible to somebody who has never been assaulted, but for people who have been assaulted and abused it makes sense.
Sometimes reporting a violent crime is made so inhumane and unattractive by the criminal justice system that one doesn't want to do it. Especially when one knows such crimes are seldom prosecuted. I had already seen what female friends had been through. They counseled me against reporting it. Even the healthcare professionals I dealt with counseled me against reporting it. One has enough physical and mental healthcare shit to deal with, one really doesn't need to have more crap loaded on one. Especially in the place I was in where one was already a "faggot" for any number of violations of the social contract.
And sometimes people have other fish to fry. I was trying to figure out how to get medical services without insurance, and to get them in a way that would keep them off my permanent record so that I couldn't be deprived of medical insurance with a pre-existing condition if I came down with hepatitis or HIV. I was also figuring out how to keep myself in service to the people who depended on me, how to negotiate an intimate relationship with a woman while this was going on, and trying to figure out the origin of this crime as it was clearly not sexual but simply one of violence.
And I've seen that pattern again and again.
My cousin didn't talk about being sexually molested by our grandfather as a young teen until she was in her 40's. And only to me outside of her therapist. My wife didn't tell me about the abuse of incest she experienced until we were married 15 years.
See-- I get both sides of this, as I was once falsely accused of sexual misconduct. My life was hell for a while. It was profoundly damaging as I was so young. I was in high school. There was no basis to it, there was never a complaint filed. With the wisdom of some years, I understand it. The woman was much older than me, and I was a minor, so she was potentially on the hook for statutory rape. It was social suicide the last two years of high school for me.
