Trump plans on breaking Social Security

@swirlie Due to my wifes scottish heritage, her plan was always to look after our "oldies" at home. So when father in law passed after a short illness we had the house remodelled and extented to include an independent living unit under the roofline and she moved in. As it happened, we nursed her together through a few years and she passed at home. Then later my own mother moved in.. and stayed a few years..Before deciding she needed more support and moving into as home..
Now my wife has just gone into care as I cant manage her any more..And there is this great big house. Thinking it through, I may be able to downsize my own footprint in the house, Maybe when one of the grandkids get older I can take the flat for myself and let them have the house rent free to give them a start..But thats at least ten years off.😷

@whowasthatmaskedman
In all honesty, I agree with the concept of looking after our elderly relatives in the home as opposed to a care facility, assuming of course that the person in question can be integrated within the family unit and they don't go out of their way to destroy the family they moved in with. Under those circumstances of unrest, they need to be placed in a facility or else they'll take the whole family down with them.

In my opinion, you went above and beyond and did the right thing with your wife and you also did the absolute right thing by placing her in the hands of professionals when the time came, who are trained in this field of expertise.

As for your own home, I recommend that you don't move out! You may not have one of your kids move in and take care of you later on in life, but at least you'll be in a $-position to hire a couple of young 30 year olds to come in every day to do what they were hopefully trained to do for you, while you enjoy their company in the comforts of your own home!

@swirlie My plan (as much as one can plan these things...We planned to be travelling the world at a leisurely pace about now) is quite close to your description, if maybe for different reasons. I will keep the house, partly because of location. Everything I need is in reach and the place had everything I want. And partly because of inheritance/tax laws that say that this place is transterred to my kids tax free because of how long ago we bought it. And I have three teenage grandkids . In time one of them may see the value in moving into the house and offering me some support, And before that, i can always pay them to come and clean the place. The grandson already gets overpaid to mow the grass. Its a way of spoiling them while instilling a work ethic.. But in a month or two we will start the declutter......Just finding my feet now...😷

@whowasthatmaskedman
Beautiful story!

The act of decluttering a house is often a double-edge sword.

If you wait too long to declutter, suddenly all the clutter looks like it belongs where it sits and it never gets removed.

The problem with decluttering too soon however, is that quite often, something is removed that is later regretted because closure hadn't been fully acknowledged by those concerned. Then, guilt sets in for getting rid of it too soon.

So, this means that there is such a thing as decluttering too late versus decluttering too soon.

What I will acknowledge in this process is a phenomenon that occurs to all that clutter if the person who owns it suddenly passes away.

All of a sudden that clutter has a magical way of recalibrating itself into either becoming a family heirloom or a piece of irrelevance that you cannot part with because the deceased person's hand writing was on it.... or you remember being with them when they took it off a shelf in a store 50 years ago as it sat among 20 others just like it, but suddenly it becomes priceless as soon as that person is suddenly gone.

What I've learned about decluttering someone else's personal space is to get the person who owns it to help with the declutter.

This may simply involve getting their opinion of a box full of stuff ..or a picture on the wall ..or a bunch of letters in a drawer.

If the person says it's all junk, always remember that when it comes to declutter that stuff from the home after they've departed the lifetime. If it was regarded as junk to them, then in pre-knowing that, it gives you license to toss it out when the time comes without any sentimental attachment being assigned to it by you or anyone else who may be suffering from 'survivor's remorse'.

That being said, it's still easier to declutter your own home if the person who brought it in there in the first place is still alive, though living in a care facility and doesn't remember anyone's name.

Where a huge problem can begin is if that person suddenly dies, at which point it sometimes becomes impossible to part with anything at all that they once brought into the home, regardless of it's apparent value at which point your home can turn into a shrine with the clutter now representing that deceased person's presence.

Timing is critical when one chooses to declutter a shared home!

@swirlie that's if they are decluttering. If you do that in your house you start with stuff that makes the most obvious difference. They're starting with things that are minuscule in terms of the budget but affect the most at risk. It seems more likely they are purposely breaking the public safety net, international health and self sabotaging long standing allies and national ideals.

@JonLosAngeles66 In my case, part of my wifes problem became buying and haording. Not to extrmes. But there is a lot of stuff to clear. 😷

@whowasthatmaskedman good luck!