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Best definition of libertarianism

From the Slate comments today.

Never got over the fact they weren’t the illegitimate children of Robert Heinlein and Ayn Rand; currently punishing the rest of us for it. Unusually smug for a political philosophy that’s never gotten anyone elected for anything above the local water board. All for legalized drugs and prostitution, but probably wouldn’t want their kids blowing strangers for crack; all for slashing taxes for nearly every social service, but don’t seem to understand why most people aren’t at all keen to trade in even the minimal safety net the U.S. provides for 55-gallon barrels of beans and rice, a crossbow and a first-aid kit in the basement. Blissfully clueless that Libertarianism is just great as long as it doesn’t actually involve real live humans.

Libertarians blog with a frequency that makes one wonder if they’re actually employed somewhere or if they have loved ones who miss them. Libertarian blogs even more snide than conservative blogs, if that’s possible. Socially slow — will assume other people actually want to talk about legalizing hemp and the benefits of a polyamorous ethos when all these other folks really want is to drink beer and play Grand Theft Auto. Libertarianism the official political system of science fiction authors, which explains why science fiction is in such a rut these days. Libertarians often polyamorous (and hope you are too) but also somewhat out of shape, which takes a lot of the fun out of it.

Easily offended; Libertarians are most likely to respond to this column. The author will attempt to engage subtle wit but will actually come across as a geeky whiner. Libertarians secretly worried that ultimately someone will figure out the whole of their political philosophy boils down to “Get Off My Property.” News flash: This is not really a big secret to the rest of us.
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There were two things which impressed me about it, but not because I researched it, and both of these were long ago, now:

1) The notion that one's personal rights extend right to just shy where they touch the next person's.

I think that this is a useful way of looking at them, at least in some instances. It was presented, at the time, as a Libertarian conception.

2) The Libertarian candidate for President, many cycles ago (late 1980s/early 1990s) spoke at a Cleveland City Club forum broadcast on public radio. He had a long list of government policies where the government would fund both sides of an issue, and his refrain was sthg like, "There's a word for this, it's 'crazy'!"

One example was labelling on cigarettes & smoking cessation monies v. money to support tobacco farmers...