Operation Make-Believe: The Top 20 Reasons Donald Trump Wears Military Cosplay
1. He wants to look tough for Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un.
Because nothing screams “alpha” like dress-up cosplay for your favorite dictators.
2. He thinks dodging Vietnam makes him a “survivor.”
Newsflash: the only jungle he ever braved was the salad bar at Mar-a-Lago.
3. He called POWs “losers,” so now he cosplays as a “winner.”
If only courage came in an Amazon Prime costume set.
4. He thinks wearing fatigues erases eight years of insulting Gold Star families.
But no amount of camo covers up cowardice.
5. He mocked veterans who died in war — now he pretends he served.
It’s the cosplay version of grave-robbing.
6. He sees the military as props, not people.
So why not dress up as one himself? It’s cheaper than paying them respect.
7. He thinks fatigues are a “get out of draft dodging free” card.
Too bad the Selective Service doesn’t accept cosplay as back pay.
8. He confuses “basic training” with golf lessons.
And let’s face it — he’d still cheat on the obstacle course.
9. He never read a history book, but he’s seen Rambo.
And somehow thinks it's a documentary.
10. He thinks “war hero” means surviving five deferments.
Bonespurs, baby — America’s deadliest enemy.
11. He sees camouflage as a brand opportunity.
“Trump Army Fatigues — Made in China, Just like his red MAGA caps.”
12. He thinks fatigues are cheaper than supporting veterans.
Cosplay is free — VA hospitals are not.
13. He actually called avoiding STDs in the ‘80s his “personal Vietnam.”
And now somehow believes that qualifies him for fatigues.
14. He thinks fatigues impress the Proud Boys.
Because nothing says “strong leader” like dress-up cosplay for your fan club.
15. He called generals “my generals,” like they were toys.
Now he’s just trying to look like one of his own action figures.
16. He wanted to be saluted.
But the only salute he’s ever earned is middle-fingered.
17. He thinks camo makes him a wartime leader.
But his only battlefield was against a hurricane with a Sharpie marker.
18. He admires Hitler’s generals for obedience.
But forgets some followed him right into defeat while others plotted to kill him.
19. He believes POWs are “losers.”
So cosplay is his way of pretending capture never counts.
20. He asked why his generals can’t be like Hitler’s.
Apparently, he missed the part where that ended very badly.
Because nothing screams “alpha” like dress-up cosplay for your favorite dictators.
2. He thinks dodging Vietnam makes him a “survivor.”
Newsflash: the only jungle he ever braved was the salad bar at Mar-a-Lago.
3. He called POWs “losers,” so now he cosplays as a “winner.”
If only courage came in an Amazon Prime costume set.
4. He thinks wearing fatigues erases eight years of insulting Gold Star families.
But no amount of camo covers up cowardice.
5. He mocked veterans who died in war — now he pretends he served.
It’s the cosplay version of grave-robbing.
6. He sees the military as props, not people.
So why not dress up as one himself? It’s cheaper than paying them respect.
7. He thinks fatigues are a “get out of draft dodging free” card.
Too bad the Selective Service doesn’t accept cosplay as back pay.
8. He confuses “basic training” with golf lessons.
And let’s face it — he’d still cheat on the obstacle course.
9. He never read a history book, but he’s seen Rambo.
And somehow thinks it's a documentary.
10. He thinks “war hero” means surviving five deferments.
Bonespurs, baby — America’s deadliest enemy.
11. He sees camouflage as a brand opportunity.
“Trump Army Fatigues — Made in China, Just like his red MAGA caps.”
12. He thinks fatigues are cheaper than supporting veterans.
Cosplay is free — VA hospitals are not.
13. He actually called avoiding STDs in the ‘80s his “personal Vietnam.”
And now somehow believes that qualifies him for fatigues.
14. He thinks fatigues impress the Proud Boys.
Because nothing says “strong leader” like dress-up cosplay for your fan club.
15. He called generals “my generals,” like they were toys.
Now he’s just trying to look like one of his own action figures.
16. He wanted to be saluted.
But the only salute he’s ever earned is middle-fingered.
17. He thinks camo makes him a wartime leader.
But his only battlefield was against a hurricane with a Sharpie marker.
18. He admires Hitler’s generals for obedience.
But forgets some followed him right into defeat while others plotted to kill him.
19. He believes POWs are “losers.”
So cosplay is his way of pretending capture never counts.
20. He asked why his generals can’t be like Hitler’s.
Apparently, he missed the part where that ended very badly.
36-40, F
