It’s (almost) 2008 all over again. Thousands of vacant and foreclosed houses in Florida.

Photo above – Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube gear up for a “foreclosure boat tour” of vacant homes in Florida. Not shown – Burmese pythons and gators. Screencap courtesy of “Anaconda”, 1997.

“Foreclosure boat tour”. That’s a term you don’t hear every day. It’s sort of like a “supper cruise”, except it happens in daylight, and you’re with 10 other people looking at vacant/foreclosed Florida homes from the dockside, rather than streetside. Boat tours are trending, because nobody wants to show up for open houses. (See link at bottom).

At some point do you think Florida real estate agents will figure out that people are just hopping aboard these cabin cruisers for a free boat ride, and have no intention of buying an expensive waterfront home?

I want to give Fed Chairman Powell some credit here. His “mortgage interest rates to the moon” strategy is finally bearing fruit. Actually, even though rates are 3X as high as a couple of years ago, mortgages today are in line with the long-term averages. People were addicted to artificially low rates, going back to the Bush and Obama administrations. If your mortgage interest rate didn’t begin with a “2”, you paid too much.

You can’t blame Powell for the foreclosures though. Hurricanes and rising property insurance/HOA rates, take a bow. If you can’t afford an extra $500 or $1,000 a month in hurricane/flooding insurance, you might move out and let the bank figure it out. Especially if your home is worth less than what you paid for it a couple of years ago.

All this is happening Coral Gables, which is about 300 miles east of where I live. Here in Tampa we haven’t reached 2008 crisis levels yet. The gators are still in the swamps and not defending new territories in green-scum backyard pools at vacant houses. Yet. Maybe the Burmese pythons will get contend for primacy. There are now about 100,000 of them loose in the Everglades. Or maybe 500,000. The state of Florida doesn’t actually know. Suffice it to say that Burmese Python wranglers might overpaid, because the problem is increasing exponentially.

Does my homeowner's insurance cover gators and pythons? Suppose my postman or Amazon delivery guy gets bit on my property? Wait, my policy doesn't cover that? Can I get a rider to add that coverage, and how much extra each month will THAT cost?

Some of these homes undoubtedly have federal subsidized flood insurance. Because legitimate insurance companies wouldn’t be caught dead where 3 houses have been swept away in 15 years. But the US government keeps paying out, and people keep rebuilding. With ever more lavish and expensive beachfront mansions. Some of which are now vacant and for sale. Did you know there are free refreshments if you take a foreclosure boat tour?

Good thing alligators and Burmese pythons don’t like salt water, or this could get even uglier.

I’m just sayin’ . . .

Florida housing crisis grows as streets are filled with for sale signs