How expensive will it be when all these AI programs start suing each other? And who should I root for?

[i]Photo above - George Carlin as the AI algorithm, in the film "Scary Movie 3"[/i]

Everybody hates Microsoft. But few people can explain why. Now OpenAI is suing MSFT, and the reason is hilarious. See link below.

The lawsuit, which will apparently be filed today, alleges that "Microsoft is using its dominant position in cloud services and contractual leverage to suppress competition” (exact quote from the court documents). Why is this hilarious? Because Microsoft is the chief investor in Open AI, and provides huge resources, including cloud services. They’re in this partnership neck deep. Now they can't agree on what the contract they signed actually means. The US government will have to figure it out, in a trial that could take months, or even years. And we the taxpayers will pay for this.

Open AI claims it has the world’s greatest artificial intelligence system. Several of them in fact, but ChatGPT is the big enchilada. ChatGPT can do everything, including your kid’s 8th grade homework, turn $1,000 into $1 million in the stock market, and get you Taco Bell's secret recipes for enchiladas and burritos.

ChatGPT is also being used to write lawsuits. There are a growing number of attorneys who use the software to file briefs, motions, discovery documents, delays, objections, in addition to the original lawsuit. This could be our worst nightmare – shyster attorneys able to turbocharge their volumes and nuisance impact with AI.

So far, there’s no word on whether OpenAI has flipped the switch and is using ChatGPT to sue Microsoft. This lawsuit might still be the product of 500 recent law school grads toiling in a windowless basement room. But a lawsuit actually filed by ChatGPT would be logical. Algorithms are cheaper and work tirelessly on nights and weekends too. AI can throw so many documents into the process that everyone will think it’s snowing.

The logical response would be for Microsoft to tell it’s own AI software (Copilot) to respond to the Chatbot suit, and defend MSFT's honor, and perhaps file a counter suit seeking a gazillion dollars in damages, for good measure. I’m not certain this will happen, but it does make perfect sense.

Unless you’re a taxpayer.

It's not certain that the district attorney for Redmond Washington (where Microsoft is incorporated and domiciled) will get dragged into the case, but the court certainly will: Judges, clerks, bailiffs, stenographers, interns . . . you name it. And you and I will be paying for it, as taxpayers.

I do have a solution. Pass a law saying there’s a special fee if you’re going to use AI to sue somebody. Or use AI to defend yourself. Make it at least large enough to cover all the possible court costs. Payable in advance. Add a “loser pays” clause, so that when the case is finally decided – probably by an AI chatbot in place of a human judge – the villain picks up ALL the costs, and the other side can walk away without bloodletting.

In fact, given the speed that AI systems operate at, the whole thing could be over in an hour. The initial lawsuit, the motions, briefs, discovery documents, change of venue requests, evidence exclusion . . . and the final verdict. Sued at 8am, and verdict rendered at 9am. Before any of the CEOs and court employees even arrive at work for the day. The press release announcing the result could be in your spam inbox 30 seconds later.

You may scoff, but if we don’t nip this “computer sues computer” thing in the bud, there’s not enough money on planet earth to pay for all the court cases. We won't even be able to afford Universal Basic Income for all the lawyers and court employees who get thrown out of work.

I’m just sayin’ . . .

OpenAI weighs “nuclear option” of antitrust complaint against Microsoft - Ars Technica