Trump administration tells Americans to raise backyard chickens. What could possibly go wrong?

Photo above - Backyard chicken coops: fantasy vs. reality . . .

Bet you can’t name Trump’s Secretary of Agriculture. See, I told you so. It’s Brooke Rollins, a career lawyer. She was also elected “Cotton Bowl Queen” 30 years ago. Really . . . I am so NOT making this up. Secretary Rollins now wants us to build chicken coops out back. To save money on eggs. See link below.

People in Russia are probably like “Da . . . we already do that. Is big success . . . except when they freeze in January, or fall out of hotel windows.”

Eggs are now $5.29 a dozen here in Tampa. They were around $4.50 on inauguration day. $3 a dozen a year earlier. Most the damage happened before inauguration day. And I have NOT cut back on my egg consumption. It averages one per day. Bird flu is costing me an eggstra $5 a month, the way I figure it.

I couldn’t build a backyard henhouse, even if I wanted too. I live in an apartment. And my rent went up $120 a month in January. My gas per gallon is actually down 30 cents. I don’t give Trump the blame or credit for any of this. And it was Biden who gave the orders to allow more fracking and shale oil and what not.

Online experts say the average backyard chicken coop costs $300 to $2,000. Let’s pick the midpoint – around $1,000 bucks, okay? The chicken coop pictured above probably cost more. Then you have to add in chicken feed (not cheap, no matter what you may have heard). In addition to anti-fox measures, you might need overhead aerial protection if hawks or owls are not extinct in your state. You might also need permits for construction, to own the birds themselves, and then pay for regular vet certifications that your mini-flock is flu and disease free. Are we having fun yet, Secretary Rollins? (You probably can’t even grow a patio tomato plant).

Since buying eggs at Piggly Wiggly is costing me an extra $5 month, I only need to operate my chicken coop for 15 years to break even. We are saved!

According to some media reports people are “smuggling” eggs across the Mexican border. I assume this means by refrigerated tractor trailer, as only a moron is going to put a couple dozen eggs in the trunk of their Hyundai and hope the inspection line starts moving faster before they spoil. (“Anything to declare? Meth? Weed? Eggs? What's with all the feathers in the back seat?")

But this begs the question: WHY are eggs from Mexico so much cheaper? I’m guessing it’s possibly related to lax standards for inoculation, sanitation, inspections, culling infected birds etc. Geeze Louise . . . I hope those smuggled eggs aren’t already infected with bird flu!

I’m not building a $1,000 backyard hen house. Or searching out black market eggs smuggled from Chihuahua, to save a buck or two. What are people thinking? What are YOU thinking, Secretary Rollins? Do you actually even do your own grocery shopping?

I’m just sayin’ . . .

Trump's Secretary Of Agriculture Said Americans Should Raise Chickens In Their Backyards To Combat Egg Shortages, And People Online Are Not Amused