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If you ran for president what are 5 things you would bring to the table for the US?

Pick your top five policies and why.

Discuss
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I guarantee free hand and foot massages for everyone. Instead of Tweeting, I would do shadow puppets to get my message out. Unlimited cable and wifi access. I would turn Area 51 into a Theme Park with free admission. And I would make Chocolate Dark Chocolate Dove Bars the National food.