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Cops Arrest Man Who Said He Stole Pool Floats to Use for Sex

Claims he stole the floats rather than rape women.

Oh where or where could this take place but anywhere else than FLORIDA.

A Florida man arrested in the theft of stolen pool floats told cops he used the inflatables for sex instead of raping women, court papers show.

Christopher Monnin, 35, was charged Thursday with breaking into the backyards of homes with pools in Palm Bay and stealing only flotation devices, according to the arrest affidavit.

“Defendant stated that he sexually gratifies himself with the pool floats instead of raping women,” the affidavit said.

Monnin was on a bike when cops stopped him at 1:25 a.m. Thursday as a suspicious person. They found him in possession of a garbage bag full of deflated pool floats, the affidavit said.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-cops-arrest-man-stole-pool-floats-personal-sexual-pleasure
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Burnley123 · 41-45, M
I'm not sure this is a political point but it is funny.

I'm not sure how, but that guy looks exactly how you would imagine someone booked for that crime would look. 😂
'Monnin, when interviewed by the court-appointedpsychiatrist said: "My problems began on balmy Summer when I was left at home to fend off the psychotic and carnal advances, as I took a bath, of a plastic rubber duck my parents bought me from Walmart" Police interviewed the duck but could find no evidence to support Monnin's claims. The duck was later released'.
beckyromero · 36-40, F
@EugenieLaBorgia

I thought it was the chicken, not the duck.

https://similarworlds.com/18-Politics/2738010-Why-Did-the-Chicken-Cross-the-Road-To-Get-Away
LOL. The truth is often stranger than fiction.
Eddiesolds · 61-69, M
I'm just happy he didnt hurt anyone.
Specialyouare · 36-40, F
Pool floats? How can he use them to gratify himself? Why doesn’t he just buy a toy from amazon?
TrunkZ · 61-69, M
Those poor floats 😞
beckyromero · 36-40, F
@TrunkZ

Just think. They'll probably be sold as used on eBay some day.
TrunkZ · 61-69, M
@beckyromero 😬 will need to screen them with a black light. If they fluoresce then they will need to be steeply discounted
abe182 · 51-55, M
Are we talking about pool noodles? If we are then he has a pencil dick
Specialyouare · 36-40, F
😂🤣😂
Keepitsimple · 56-60, F
What a way to get a blow job, lol.

 
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