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Why is my mind such a mess?

It's both racing and wanting to die at the same time, and they sort of cancel each other out but not really and I have no idea what to do.
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ExtremeNext · 31-35
Geeez dude snap out of it or just leave that depressing dump New Zealand
SW-User
@ExtremeNext It's not all out depression as much as things spinning out of control.