What Void Feels Like

Void felt like 
An immense darkness, 
So vast… 
You see it at the corner of the room, 
Beneath the bed,
 Right after a cliff,
 Often encountered in the depths 
Of your fickle mind,
 Right after you listen to a sad song, 
Or post-arguments, 
Or encounters doomed with farewell.

But…
 That dimness was mostly shut down 
By thousands of pep talks, 
Self-redeeming songs, 
Healing quotes... 
Telling oneself: “You got this,”
 “It’s not your fault,” 
“You don’t make it worse,”
 “You were young,” 
And “You are enough.” 
As if they were prayers to the God of Joy.

Only — it’s a pointless mantra, 
A trick designed to make 
The brain feel good, 
As if deceiving is the right move,
 Like checkmate 
To glory. 
Yet, it’s not. 
It’s only a poison, a prison,
 Furthering you into sickness,
 Into never-ending pain 
And disillusions.

What we fail to understand 
Is… it’s fine to fail,
 To be lacking, insufficient, scarce, 
To stay right where you are, 
Without forcing half-baked truths, 
Or listening to
Sweet nothingness that all will be alright, 
When you know: “It’s not,” 
“It’s worse.” 
And that’s okay. 
That’s plentiful.

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This piece was heavily influenced by late night wonders while looking at the darkened sky. So quiet, yet the mind feels chaotic. An irony indeed.

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