I hate week days and I hate weekends

Draft

And so
Still
I will rise

From unsettling somnambulation that wove through shadowy spectres of my unconscious
From violent vacant visions and slow dance Macabre hunting beneath Lunar glow

I will

Scratch silent the repeat of the turning table and let the rhythm be
Limbs launch me into the ache of awake and march 1,2,3, 1,2,3 into empty

Still

I scribble another cliche on a page that delivers only sighs or the aversion of eyes
As lonely as its producer, pumped out like mass made grief

And so

Lids blink and fingers sink into heavy and disappear into my thinking
Tea. Tea is made and I crease not a smile for weekend’s masquerade

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thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

Like this, a lot... I keep feeling there must be a 'here' in final verse. That's the harder part, though, as it imparts what you want.

MayaHope · 41-45, F

@thewindupbirdchronicles oh it was just an early morning scribble so probably still open to tweaks … where would you place the ‘here’’

MayaHope · 41-45, F

@thewindupbirdchronicles ‘heavy-here’ maybe?

MayaHope · 41-45, F

@thewindupbirdchronicles and maybe ‘like a mass made grief’

thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

@MayaHope At the beginning of the final verse, like 'Draft', 'I will', 'Still', 'And So'. I had scribbled something together, but I was borrowing too much in words, I'd join the idea of masquerade and rise together somewhere if I could.

MayaHope · 41-45, F

@thewindupbirdchronicles we all borrow words don’t we?

Oh you mean an extra verse.

Yeah I did feel like maybe as I got to what o thought was the end. Maybe it felt unended

But maybe that is part of this feeling of anguished relentlessness.

I need a day out and my notebook

thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

@MayaHope I was searching for a kind of continuation, repetition, which can feel like a grave.

MayaHope · 41-45, F

@thewindupbirdchronicles maybe like the unrisen?

thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

@MayaHope So maybe the tea is an open-ended.. day out.

MayaHope · 41-45, F

@thewindupbirdchronicles oh the I need a day out was just a comment on my wallowing in stuckness. Not a thought fir the poem.

I want the poem to be stuck. I think the tea is punctuation. It is a confirming repetition that marks that I still rise.

I mean I think that was the sense I had.

It is also very British and a little fun. Tea solves everything you know.

But what if you sip it alone?

Sorry I’m rambling. Maybe I’ll drive to the nice tea room near plath’s grave. But I was waiting until the anniversary of her passing

thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

@MayaHope No, sorry. I'm Canadian, I have ownership of sorry, sorry. Not sorry.

I see why you want it to be stuck now, and I'm gonna quote,
The memories come back empty
Like their batteries are low
It feels like you just left me
Tho' it happened years ago
They're stacking up the chairs
Wiping down the bar
I never got to tell you
How beautiful you are

I enjoy a piece stuck is what I am illustrating. I should mark my father's memorial more often than I do.

MayaHope · 41-45, F

@thewindupbirdchronicles is that a message or a mantra?
Too late is how it feels sometimes.

Isn’t it the middle of the night in Canada?

thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

@MayaHope It's later than the middle of the night. It's neither a mantra, maybe a message, I missed made into a mantra. Just a passage in lyrics from Cohen. The proverbial tea, I think, works the same as the bar.

MayaHope · 41-45, F

@thewindupbirdchronicles he was quite the poet. I’m not sure I know as much of his work as you do.

Tea/bar… are you suggesting cocktails? 😝 it’s mid morning here

Later than the middle of the night? Earlier than the morning? The in between ?

thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

@MayaHope I'm suggesting the tea/the cocktail might have the same in meaning.... 😜 Closure from something symbolic.
It's the in between here, and if I don't listen to myself, soon, I'll see daybreak.

I'm somewhat obsessed with him.... saw him live once. A little sage, who in performance, knew how to pull in each in audience. And his words, well some love him, others never got him. I'd say he reintroduced poetry for many.

I see what you were after in your poem, now. 🤗