I Write Poetry

Which Me to Be
In my quest to be me
I am often confused
on which me to be
which me do I choose?

I’m tired of pretending
hate letting it go,
hate white lies, truth bending
Useless, infuriating status quo.

I’m supposed to play nice
Look the other way
get through it, some advice
hey – don’t ruin the day

I can’t help but to ponder
if more days don’t need ruined?

Would anyone listen, would anyone get it
if I told them my feelings
would it help? or would I regret it?
to send them all reeling
to shake up their worlds
to ignore social rules blatantly
let chaos unfurl?

What I’m proposing
has never been done
What I’m supposing
is it would be great fun

for me

to shed this nice girl persona
and tell them all

I think they are

childish
selfish
petty
whiny
negative
greedy
vindictive
callous
two-faced
lost souls

chasing nonexistent cheese in an unwinnable rat race!

Would they smile and nod politely
while inwardly planning to smite me?

Would they tell me It’s ok
while quickly walking away?

Would they shrug and ignore me
and stick to their story?

Would they express sorrow
for the girl without etiquette, that pitiful girl
would they forget me tomorrow
or burn my ears in the gossip whirl?

We all went to school, and some went to college
but some of us were taught to never acknowledge
what we see and we know and we think and we feel
For the sake of peace keeping, we must never be real.

So here is my conflict, for I truly do care
about the people in this world, everywhere.
But each step I take
on my healing path
shows a decision I must make
about moving forward, or going back

If I keep moving ahead,
must I leave the rest behind?
Find the strength to feign I’m braindead
play opossum with my mind?

My choices I have three, though none of them good
stay home, safe and sound, no need for attack
go out with my blinders and muzzle, like a good girl should
go out fists up and tongue sharpened, but integrity intact