I Write Poetry

Sestina

Something, I feel, is missing from my mind.1
I sense an emptiness and there can seem 2
a dreadful balance. Will the numbness grow3
or other thoughts I cannot bear surge through?4
Which would be worse? I long to feel complete;5
the old erected dam is stubborn strong.6

I fear those unfelt feelings, they are strong,
I sense them in the corners of my mind
Persistent, uncontrollable and incomplete
My mind’s unmined and undiscovered seam.
I duly take the tablets and go through
The daily duties that before me grow.

Each day a longer list, I let it grow,
the urging to procrastinate is strong.
Sometimes a sudden rush and then I’m through
“Enough’s enough for one day, never mind!”
I do enough to fool myself and seem
to others as though I were a thing complete.

I, only I, know how I am not complete’
how I have let this thing fester and grow
Within my soul. I thought it was enough to seem
The part, to have friends strong
Enough to help me who would mind
And give me strength to carry through.

Thinking like that, for me, is now clean through.
A mind divided cannot be complete -
in fact it scarcely can be thought a mind.
Fear stops all growth, I know I have to grow,
and that must mean that I have to be strong
and once and for all open out that seam

to what will issue. Foolhardy it may seem,
but once decided, I must now go through
with it, daring and staying strong
and not procrastinate before complete
And I have somehow managed both to grow
And to control the minings of my mind.

Envoi

I hope that this sestina seems complete
And shows through words my hope that I may grow
Strong yet and stronger still in mind.