I don't understand women

I don't understand
how you can tell me I'm driving you mad,
then sleep better
simply because I'm beside you.

I don't understand
how a cup left on the table
can become a declaration of war,
but nobody else
is allowed to say a bad word about me.

I don't understand
why the smallest things matter so much:
a forgotten message,
a tone of voice,
a look held half a second too long.
Things so small
I barely notice them.
Until I do.

I don't understand
why you tell me flowers are a waste of money,
then somehow the whole room changes
when I bring them home.

I don't understand
why my jokes annoy you
most of the time,
but if I'm quiet
a little too long,
you always ask
what's wrong.

I don't understand
why sometimes you need me
to leave you alone,
but not so far
that you cannot hear me
in the next room.

I don't understand
why you ask me
blue or green,
listen carefully
to what I say,
then choose blue.
You were always going to choose blue.

I don't understand
how I can spend so much of my life
apparently being in your way,
yet when I'm not there,
something in the house
seems to be missing.

And after all these years,
I still don't understand
when to speak,
when to be quiet,
when to leave,
when to stay,
when to hold you,
and when even reaching for you
would be one mistake too many.

But when you close the door
in that particular way,
I give you a minute.

But not two.

And maybe that's the part
I understand least of all;

after all the wrong answers,
the badly timed jokes,
the cups left on tables,
the moments I got it wrong,

you're still here.

And that,
more than anything,
I don't understand.

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Busybee333 · 31-35, F

Maybe she likes things to be neat and tidy. And the best way possible. She's a strong woman but also needs to feel loved and protected at the same time. Maybe she has a perfectionist side.. but she does love you :). And you love her! I am sure you can find a middle ground and stress less. You'll remember the cup next time. She'll remember to trust your love ^^. Or next time she's like THE CUP, AGAIN!, say oh my did I forget it again? Sorry love, I'll do my best to remember next time! Swirl ard kisss her and wash it right away like a fairy with a smile xD. I think she will be surprised but she will like the sudden loving vibe. Also.. I think it is not the cup itself. She thinks you forget it cuz you don't care to remember that it bugs her. She feels indirectly unloved because she wasn't worthy for you to remember "the cup". I am going too far here, but I think something of the sort could be making her SO upset about the cup. She needs loving reminders that you adore her. Maybe a little less secure. Next time bring pretty yet durable flowers that won't fade (in a pot). Sustaining them would remind her of the joy of receiving them from her smiling loving husband ❤. She has ups and downs and stress.. but she does love you a lot. Find time for tiny escapades / break the routine.. little outings to remind yourselves how amazing it is to be together ^^. When you hurt, tell her but never in an accusation tone (it will spark a fight).. rather talk from your perspective. I hurt when I hear this or that.. you know I love you and I wouldn't ever want you upset.. I am just a little distracted sometimes.. I am sorry. Both of you need to apply efforts: you in remembering / her in being less stressed over not so perfect things. She cares about your opinion but her intuitions may guide her to the most correct option based on her perception. I don't think she wants to control everything but rather she wants it all to be so good that she ends up controlling the details. Remind her of some important things.. we're here, we're together, we love each other.. we're doing well.. we can solve things as they come.. the more love you pour even on hard days, the more she will feel protected and may even be so happy that she may forget to scold you for the cup 😆

justanotherone · 56-60, M

@Busybee333 Thank you 😀
I think you may have taken the cup a little more literally than I intended it.

The cup is really just a symbol, it could be any of those little things I do in the “wrong” way without even realising why they matter so much.

And I didn’t really mean the poem as a complaint, or as something that needs fixing. Quite the opposite, actually. It’s more about all those little contradictions and imperfections you discover after being with someone for decades.

And I don’t think every imperfection on either side needs to be fixed. Sometimes part of loving someone is simply knowing their odd little ways, being annoyed by some of them, being amused by others, and accepting that neither of you is going to become a perfectly adjusted version of yourselves.

I think the last part is probably the real point of it: after all the misunderstandings, wrong answers, badly timed jokes and little annoyances… she’s still here. And so am I. 🙃

Maybe that is what understanding someone really looks like, not understanding everything, but understanding just enough to accept.

Blondily · F

She is complicated thats for sure but loves you. Show this to her and see what she says I guess.

View 9 more replies »

justanotherone · 56-60, M

@Blondily I'm happy everyone reports to you. 😀

Blondily · F

@justanotherone not really I just listen🤭

justanotherone · 56-60, M

@Blondily "Aggressively well-informed"😀

Lilnonames · F

i liked that

Egg01

Have you tried asking? ;)

FloorGenAdm · 51-55, M

🤔

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