I Want To Write Poetry From The Soul
Fading away in the distance
13/6/13
I am fading away in this pain my tears are crying out but only I know why. When I am in this mess my heart is beating too fast for me to hear, pounding my chest feels like it is coming out of my throat, making me feel sick and weak. I cannot over come that feeling it is too strong for me to handle.
My thoughts building up going round in circles over and over again making my eyes and head ache so much it feels like it will explode under pressure, no one notices I'm upset no one seems to care or talk to me.
As soon as I cry well that's a different story in it's self everyone seems to think they care when they weren't there from the beginning to know why I'm like this or know why I still am, when I cry the feeling gets worse it over powers me making me have anxiety attacks also feeling anger wanting to release it.
In a room full of people that I know but I feel so alone, disconsolate and empty like my thoughts are all I have, no one is there when I need a friend to trust to talk to all they say is: “I don't care" or "it's bull shit I don't believe it" this makes me feel more alone like I just want to fade no one would notice except the ones I love.
The saying 'everything happens for a reason' what is the reason I feel like this??? All I want is for my loved ones to be safe, protected, and free from pain. Do I deserve this pain I have inside of me growing deeper?? The hole getting bigger making me weaker, I’m alone in this big world, I don't deserve or understand why it is "me".
13/6/13
I am fading away in this pain my tears are crying out but only I know why. When I am in this mess my heart is beating too fast for me to hear, pounding my chest feels like it is coming out of my throat, making me feel sick and weak. I cannot over come that feeling it is too strong for me to handle.
My thoughts building up going round in circles over and over again making my eyes and head ache so much it feels like it will explode under pressure, no one notices I'm upset no one seems to care or talk to me.
As soon as I cry well that's a different story in it's self everyone seems to think they care when they weren't there from the beginning to know why I'm like this or know why I still am, when I cry the feeling gets worse it over powers me making me have anxiety attacks also feeling anger wanting to release it.
In a room full of people that I know but I feel so alone, disconsolate and empty like my thoughts are all I have, no one is there when I need a friend to trust to talk to all they say is: “I don't care" or "it's bull shit I don't believe it" this makes me feel more alone like I just want to fade no one would notice except the ones I love.
The saying 'everything happens for a reason' what is the reason I feel like this??? All I want is for my loved ones to be safe, protected, and free from pain. Do I deserve this pain I have inside of me growing deeper?? The hole getting bigger making me weaker, I’m alone in this big world, I don't deserve or understand why it is "me".
