Internal damnation

Its okay if you cant relate, to my state, of mind
For it took careful suffering over time
To have a heart that beats like mine
A world so cruel and so unkind
Shy of love and so refined
I find the strength to smile and say im fine
But with a man like me you must read between the lines
To understand a soul so refined
Intoxicated, aging slow like wine
So if i die before i wake
Lay me down at the devils gate
For i know i cannot escape my fate