One I wrote tonight...about the pain of being aware.

The Tree of Knowledge....Is A Thorn Tree

Eight years old
Innocent and not unhappy
Yet an unease
Just off the fingertips
Of perception.
Butterflies and grasshoppers
Mesmerizing
In their unpredictable
Yet beautiful
Dance toward unknown destinations.
Still
Not unhappy
But in moments of silence
Missing.....
Something..........

Eight years old
Surreptitiously learning
To reach out
A taste
Of the world
Of those
I never knew.
Exotic birds
Singing song
Never heard through these ears.
I began to learn
I began to
Hurt.

Eight years old
I crave the taste
Of beautiful chocolate.
Yet does one crave
Something
If unaware of it's existence?
I know chocolate
Intimately and with
Desire.
I began to learn
Those things
That were outside
Of my perspective.
I began to learn
I began to
Hurt.

Eight years old
Beginning to hear about
Music
Fashion
Friendships
Passions
So many new things
To think about and desire
A world only seen
Through glass walls
One thing
Broke me
I learned
And I hurt.

Eight years old
Staring
Into that dark
Deep water
Wondering if it could stop the pain.
That pain
Of not being good enough
Pain
Of never being beautiful enough.
I would always
Give up
All the things
I never had
To have the one thing
I learned
I had never had
And I hurt.


Eight years old
Shattered and broken
Looking
Into the depths
For any peace
Even one of
Oblivion....
I cried why?
WHY?
WHY couldn't I
Ever be good enough
To simply be hugged......

Eight years old.....
Broken
I hurt.