One Breath from Breaking *tw*

Can’t breathe—
chest too tight—
everything’s spinning—
can’t stop—

Flash—
hands—
weight—
skin burning—
no—no—no—

The blade.
It’s right there.
I could.
I want to.
God, I want to.

Red in my mind.
Dripping.
Quiet after.
Empty after.

But it’s still here—
the memory,
the breath in my ear,
the ghost of his grip—
and me,
shaking,
trying not to lose