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A letter to someone

I'm writing this letter to someone
to let them know that I'm still alive.
By the time that I've completed it
my memory might just have arrived.

I'll put up with rheumatoid arthritis
but dentures have to go they're to white.
My wife (is she?)said they look awful
and Rover agrees he's cowering in fright.

Bifocals are an option my opticain says
but the earing aid made my earing worse.
I'm slowly losing my grey matter
who the hecks writing this verse?

I went upstairs intending to change
I'm was sat there in my dressing gown.
Was I standing at the foot of the stairs
because, I don't remember coming down.

If I have to go upstairs for something
I don't know whether I've been.
I've no idea if I've come from there
It makes me feel like I want to SCREAM.

We called in the bank yesterday
standing there waiting my mind full of doubt
I asked my wife have we paid something in
or have we drawn something out?

Its dark outside is time to retire?
or have I just got out of bed?
I know I'm sat here in my dressing gown
oh sod it! I'll make breakfast instead.

I think I wrote to you yesterday
If I didn't and thought I did don't be cross.
The wife bless her says I get in a muddle
shes just being kind, ITS BLOODY CHAOS.

DCM 2009