The scream

I'll probably regret this but what the hell .
The scream

i know how it is to hurt all alone
When nightmares hide deep within dreams
And little boys hold all their secrets inside
But, when do I get to scream?

I know what it's like to be silent and brave
And stand still while fingers ream
And fight the tears back, when the night seems so black
But when do I get to scream?

I know what it's like to make yourself numb
And pretend you have great self-esteem
To live someone's life whom you don't know at all
Who smiles through his urges to scream.

And when I am dead and they open me up
They will find things were not what they'd seemed
For the child and the man and the demons will fly
Out of me, with a deafening scream.

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Friendlyperson · 26-30, F

Oh my god...
My mouth dried as I was reading your words...
You should be proud of yourself for being the person you are, open and gentle.
It takes even more courage to write about it and I really pray you may heal from this trauma and you are pursuing steps to help you heal.

kodiac · 22-25, M

@Friendlyperson Thanks so much for reading and for your kind response. This place really needs people like you .

Friendlyperson · 26-30, F

@kodiac You deserve them, you deserve all the good things that may be happening to you and I pray many of them are happening now. I hope you are pursuing some kind of mental health support such as therapy. You deserve to heal. 💗
And thank you for your words, I appreciate it.
Also: I've been reading your other posts, you are so talented, nd I found myself hanging on every word and praying for you to get better.

kodiac · 22-25, M

@Friendlyperson Thanks again , i have done therapy but not by choice ,so it didn't have much effect . Tbh the people i have found on this site have helped me much more than the therapy did . Most here are supportive and understanding ,a few like have become a large part of my life and my healing . Responses like yours are what keeps me here. I still have bad days and nights but now i'm not alone anymore .

Friendlyperson · 26-30, F

@kodiac
Ah, I understand.
It is really heartwarming that you have been able to find solace in this website. Many of us have gone through a rough patch and understand what it is like to struggle. (To each their own pain, of course, but we are not in a competition). Sometimes it feels as if this whole thing could be like a group therapy, without the therapist. :3
I'm glad I could help, even a little. And I'm here if you want to talk.