Upset
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My ex wife

So this is the weekend my ex is supposed to have the boys.
She sent me a message saying she has a new boyfriend now, and he has his daughter this weekend. She said Link needs a lot of extra help and care, and because of that, she wouldn’t be able to focus on her new relationship with him. So she said she doesn’t plan on taking him.
But she was hoping I would let her take TT instead because he would get along well with her new boyfriend and his daughter.
I’m not going to lie, reading that hurt. A lot.
These boys have already been through more than any child should ever have to go through. They just lost their daddy. They’re hurting, they’re confused, and they’re trying to figure out how to live in a world without him.
And now one of them is apparently too much to fit into the weekend because he needs extra love, patience and care, while the other one can still go because he’ll fit better into the plans with a new boyfriend and his daughter.
I keep thinking about how that must feel from a child's point of view.
They don't understand adult relationships or schedules or why someone can't make time for them. They just know whether Mom or Dad showed up for them.
And right now, more than ever, they need to know that they are worth showing up for. 💔
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Barefooter25 · 46-50, M
First of all, coming from experience in being in a relationship with a woman that has a daughter, we all know full well the child, no matter how old he or she is, must always come first. Also, taking TT on a weekend playdate with a man or daughter he has never met before isn't such a good idea. Jeremy died a couple of weeks ago and I don't think now is the right time for that.

Please remind your ex wife that Link is her biological child and he comes first. Putting TT in an unfamiliar environment with people two people he has not met yet is not recommended.
Cigarguys · 41-45, C
@Barefooter25 i told her no and that we need to have a conversation very soon about this.
Unreal.

Not gonna lie, that’s pretty effing horrible. I’d probably find a way of communicating that to her and how the boys are a package deal, both or none. Because I think it would be a hell of a lot harder trying to explain to Link why TT is spending the weekend with her, while he, her biological son, is not.

The fact that she can put some new boyfriend’s needs ahead of his, especially in light of the recent tragedy, is absolutely mind boggling.
Cigarguys · 41-45, C
@OlderSometimesWiser it is and she is much younger than I am. I don't know its suddenly embarrassed by him, or just doesn't want her new boyfriend to know about him. It hurts so much just thinking about it.
@Cigarguys It’s horrible Joel. My heart truly breaks for you and for Link. Sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do and issues to confront. From all Jeremy shared with us about your beautiful family, it appears that you’ve stepped up, especially for Link, every step of the way. Time for her to do the same. Link deserves every possible chance to have a healthy, beautiful future.
Cigarguys · 41-45, C
@OlderSometimesWiser thank you. Hopefully she will not do this again on her next scheduled weekend.
Gibbon · 70-79, M
Holy crap unbelievable. I don't know how you avoid blowing your stack. Her own son comes second to a boyfriend. I know Link doesn't understand especially if TT goes and he doesn't.
She is out of her mind I'm sorry but she is .
If I were you I would say no absolutely not and keep the boys together.
Cigarguys · 41-45, C
@Gibbon they are both staying with us this weekend. There is no way I'd only send TT!
Reeena · 36-40, F
That's sad. She needs a ton of growing up for the kids.
Cigarguys · 41-45, C
@Reeena gotta empress the new boyfriend i guess.
Levenrack · 46-50, M
Yeah, that behavior is a no-go, especially with a jarring family event such as what has happened to you, Bud and the kiddos. Definitely hash that out with your Ex ASAP. 😐
MarineBob · 61-69, M
Neither wants to go now
dale74 · M
Red flag, do you not have something in the divorce about over night guests not allowed. This inclueds bfs gfs
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ineedadrink · 56-60, M
The more I hear about this woman, the less I think of her.
Cigarguys · 41-45, C
@ineedadrink i never thought she would do this when they are hurting so much.
🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
Musicman · 61-69, M
It definitely shows why she is the ex. I wouldn't be happy with that at all. Personally I would just tell the boys that mommy had something come up and she won't be available for a while. I wouldn't let one boy go without the other. That would send a horrible message.

 
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