I Have Allergy

When I was a kid, I started developing these rashes. It looked like bites and didn't surprise me because mosquitoes love me. As the days went on, it felt like my skin was crawling. I would wash every day. I would lie there in bed, going insane. I thought it was microscopic bedbugs. I washed down my mattress. It got worse. My mother took me to the doctor. He checked me out. He asked....
"Do you use Safeguard soap?"
Since that day, I've been an Irish Spring man and haven't had a problem since. :-)