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I have no pictures or videos of myself before 2017

I don’t remember most of my childhood.
My parents haven’t talked to me in years.
I grieve for an inner child I can’t remember.
Of course the memories I do have are all from my point of view.
I have faint memories of photographs.

I was looking at some photos we had made a few weeks ago and I saw a few of me playing with my children. I saw my smile and wondered how such joy can inhabit the same space as my suffering.

I would share them but I wish to remain anonymous.
What did I look like as a child? Was I happy?
this is kinda bazar

 
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