I Miss My Dog
It has been like 3 days since our family dog had passed away (he died on October 30). My girlfriend bought our dog a pedigree large packet (3kg, roughly 7 pounds) despite he was a small dog, but it was already late as he died after a couple of days later. He didn't eat well for few days before he died. The only meal he had before his death was a breakfast on October 29 morning. I remember how my parents said how he ate a little, but he had a lot of water. My dad said he puked a lot of water when he was about to die on October 30.
He ate a sausage that I gave him on this Sunday (meaning on 27/October evening). I gave him a bun too without the sausage, but he didn't eat it at all. However, he usually ate them. I guess after he fell from the roof on 28 night, it might have caused him to be more sick, because after 28, he didn't eat at all except a meal in morning. He was sick somewhat before that day, he had some kind of a disease that caused him to get wounds on his body, but it wasn't serious.
I guess fell from roof, just recovered from pneumonia (yeah he got pneumonia after falling down in the unfinished open septic tank of the neighbours) , wounds caused by the disease, old age (14), not getting enough medical support might be the reason why he died. What I regret is I feel like I could have at least eased his pain, but lack of money to take him to a doctor, or call a doctor to us made me to think of it more, which delayed treating him. I remember since my parents weren't interested to take him to a doctor because they didn't have enough money, and a transportation mode (since we don't have a vehicle we took a taxi to take him to vet always, but since he got wounds drivers didn't like to take him in) , I thought to call an ambulance to us. I don't blame my parents, because our dog got sick multiple times for past few months before his death, and in each time they spent money on him for treatments. I gave them like half of the cost, but it was still a burden to them since my dad doesn't have a proper job.
I talked with the hospital over email on 28 night (the day he fell from the roof), but the charges seem a bit high for my pocket, especially for medicine, and treatments. Since charges were high, I had to think of it more. I am a working college student who also provides for my parents. I have bills to pay, tuition fees to pay, buy grocery etc, and my income was not consistent since I don't have a proper job. So I had to think of these charges, which actually delayed treating him. Meanwhile my parents applied some medicine on him to ease his pain (but it wasn't enough.!!!).
However, before he died an hour ago (on October 30) I decided to call the hospital thinking I can always earn money later, but the vet wasn't available at that time. It says the vet is available from 9 to 12, and 4 to 8 PM. Unfortunately I saw it after 12 PM. so I thought to call the vet at around 4 to come here, but unfortunately our dog died at around 1.50 PM. This is why I regret so much. I wish if I would have made that call earlier.!!, but money problem made me to take time to think. I have like so much of guilt in my heart since the time he passed away. I feel like I failed him, but I feel a kind of mad at my sister, and her husband. They have a car, and they could have helped me to take him to a doctor, or they could have taken him to a doctor, but they didn't even come since last sunday. On last sunday, he and my sister came, checked on him and left.!! IT WAS THEIR DOG.!! but they a kind of abandoned him when they left after marriage. So we had to do everything. My mom says he doesn't want to take him to a doctor, because he had an operation in his kidney, so he was scared to catch germs. I dunno it's a valid reason or not, but he could have at least given a lift to my dad to take our dog to doctor.
Anyway back to present day, Today my mom might have remembered we have a large pedigree packet in the freezer. She cooked half of it and gave them to stray dogs in the street remembering him. Since we are Buddhists, we believe in good and bad karma. We donate helpless people or animals something, mostly foods, clothes if it's people etc.. remembering the passed away loved one while giving him good karma, hoping they would reborn in a better place without any suffering. So we did the same thing to our passed away dog too. She cooked pedigree with rice, and fishes, and gave them to stray dogs. I gave the first meal to a dog. The strange thing was, while I was out of the home waiting for my sister's husband to arrive to pick up the foods to give stray dogs, a dog randomly came by our gate from nowhere.!! so I gave him the first meal. It made me so happy.
I told my mom how our dog will probably come back to us oneday as I have read this phenomenon online, but she wasn't much happy he returns. she said she doesn't want him back as she is unable to take care of him. I don't blame her, because she is old now. so I said then he will come back to me oneday. I hope so too. Today she said a story how we had a dog before this one and before I born a long ago when my sister was young. actually they had two of them, but both died. One dog died due to an accident. According to my mom, he sneaked outside, and was run over by a car while on the road, the second dog died due to an unknown reason. She said the second dog was exactly like the dog we had recently. I guess it makes sense now, he keeps coming back to us over and over again. I dunno why, but I am happy. Buddhism believes animals reborn as humans with enough good karma, meaning he probably comes looking for us hoping we would help him to free from his animal life. I guess he might be familiar with us, maybe that's why he comes to us. I dunno he will come for me, because in both times he came for my sister. :( but since my sister abandoned him ever since she married and left us. I hope in this time, he will pick me instead of her.
He ate a sausage that I gave him on this Sunday (meaning on 27/October evening). I gave him a bun too without the sausage, but he didn't eat it at all. However, he usually ate them. I guess after he fell from the roof on 28 night, it might have caused him to be more sick, because after 28, he didn't eat at all except a meal in morning. He was sick somewhat before that day, he had some kind of a disease that caused him to get wounds on his body, but it wasn't serious.
I guess fell from roof, just recovered from pneumonia (yeah he got pneumonia after falling down in the unfinished open septic tank of the neighbours) , wounds caused by the disease, old age (14), not getting enough medical support might be the reason why he died. What I regret is I feel like I could have at least eased his pain, but lack of money to take him to a doctor, or call a doctor to us made me to think of it more, which delayed treating him. I remember since my parents weren't interested to take him to a doctor because they didn't have enough money, and a transportation mode (since we don't have a vehicle we took a taxi to take him to vet always, but since he got wounds drivers didn't like to take him in) , I thought to call an ambulance to us. I don't blame my parents, because our dog got sick multiple times for past few months before his death, and in each time they spent money on him for treatments. I gave them like half of the cost, but it was still a burden to them since my dad doesn't have a proper job.
I talked with the hospital over email on 28 night (the day he fell from the roof), but the charges seem a bit high for my pocket, especially for medicine, and treatments. Since charges were high, I had to think of it more. I am a working college student who also provides for my parents. I have bills to pay, tuition fees to pay, buy grocery etc, and my income was not consistent since I don't have a proper job. So I had to think of these charges, which actually delayed treating him. Meanwhile my parents applied some medicine on him to ease his pain (but it wasn't enough.!!!).
However, before he died an hour ago (on October 30) I decided to call the hospital thinking I can always earn money later, but the vet wasn't available at that time. It says the vet is available from 9 to 12, and 4 to 8 PM. Unfortunately I saw it after 12 PM. so I thought to call the vet at around 4 to come here, but unfortunately our dog died at around 1.50 PM. This is why I regret so much. I wish if I would have made that call earlier.!!, but money problem made me to take time to think. I have like so much of guilt in my heart since the time he passed away. I feel like I failed him, but I feel a kind of mad at my sister, and her husband. They have a car, and they could have helped me to take him to a doctor, or they could have taken him to a doctor, but they didn't even come since last sunday. On last sunday, he and my sister came, checked on him and left.!! IT WAS THEIR DOG.!! but they a kind of abandoned him when they left after marriage. So we had to do everything. My mom says he doesn't want to take him to a doctor, because he had an operation in his kidney, so he was scared to catch germs. I dunno it's a valid reason or not, but he could have at least given a lift to my dad to take our dog to doctor.
Anyway back to present day, Today my mom might have remembered we have a large pedigree packet in the freezer. She cooked half of it and gave them to stray dogs in the street remembering him. Since we are Buddhists, we believe in good and bad karma. We donate helpless people or animals something, mostly foods, clothes if it's people etc.. remembering the passed away loved one while giving him good karma, hoping they would reborn in a better place without any suffering. So we did the same thing to our passed away dog too. She cooked pedigree with rice, and fishes, and gave them to stray dogs. I gave the first meal to a dog. The strange thing was, while I was out of the home waiting for my sister's husband to arrive to pick up the foods to give stray dogs, a dog randomly came by our gate from nowhere.!! so I gave him the first meal. It made me so happy.
I told my mom how our dog will probably come back to us oneday as I have read this phenomenon online, but she wasn't much happy he returns. she said she doesn't want him back as she is unable to take care of him. I don't blame her, because she is old now. so I said then he will come back to me oneday. I hope so too. Today she said a story how we had a dog before this one and before I born a long ago when my sister was young. actually they had two of them, but both died. One dog died due to an accident. According to my mom, he sneaked outside, and was run over by a car while on the road, the second dog died due to an unknown reason. She said the second dog was exactly like the dog we had recently. I guess it makes sense now, he keeps coming back to us over and over again. I dunno why, but I am happy. Buddhism believes animals reborn as humans with enough good karma, meaning he probably comes looking for us hoping we would help him to free from his animal life. I guess he might be familiar with us, maybe that's why he comes to us. I dunno he will come for me, because in both times he came for my sister. :( but since my sister abandoned him ever since she married and left us. I hope in this time, he will pick me instead of her.
