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I Miss My Dog Who Passed Away

Our family dog passed away a couple of hours ago, meaning today, 2019/ October 30 at around 1.50 PM in sri lankan time. He was healthy in last month, but ever since he fell in the unfinished underground septic tank on september 28, of the neighbours, his health slowly was deteriorating. After he fell in the tank, we rescued him on the next day (september 29 evening around 3 PM to 4 PM) and took him to doctor immediately, but doctor said he has pneumonia, and gave him meds. He might have not gotten it if we rescued him early, but unfortunately it took a day to locate him.

He had this habit of going to neighbour's land sometimes, so we covered the fence from our side, but we didn't cover our backyard's fence as he had to go through inside of the home to go to backyard. Besides, it's expensive to cover the entire fence. One day my mom left the back door of the home open, and was working in backyard, dad left the front door open, and went to store, and I was busy cleaning my room. I don't usually clean my room apart from occasional sweeping the floor, and dusting, but my girlfriend kept pestering me to clean, and organize the room, and even bought me a graphics card, which gave me some motivation to do it.

At that times our dog came inside, went backyard, and went to neighbour's land again. I found he was lost, when mom called me and asked did you see our dog. I said I dunno, then I left all the cleaning work aside, and started searching our dog. I went to all the rooms, then outside, but couldn't find him. When I was in the front side of the home in the land, I saw him by the fence in other side near our backyard, and mom was there in backyard asking him to come to this side. I thought, oh okay she found him, then I went inside to continue cleaning again, but for some reason he didn't come to us on that day, he immediately ran into the bushes as per mom.! ever since that we couldn't find him. So mom called me to search him again. We didn't go to neighbour's land, because they are not very friendly with us, but we circled around their land to check our dog, but we couldn't find him, then my mom said me the nearby shop's owner told her how she saw a brown colour, small dog (our dog was small and brown colour), but when she called it, he ran away. This swifted our attention to another place, because we thought he moved out of the neighbour's land to another place.

I feel like it's somewhat my fault, I could have went straightly to their land, and asked from the owner to find our dog at first place, but I was a kind of scared, because they are not friendly with us, I have never talked with them, they have two dogs, and one of them is so aggressive, and they also have a mentally disabled aggressive woman. She is like 50+ I think, and often fights with someone or blames someone.

After my dad came home, he also started searching the dog, but to no avail. We in fact continued the search until it's so night, and started raining. My mom did the search more than me. so I had to call my sister, and her husband to take their assistance too, but they didn't do much.

It rained in the whole night with a big storm, so we had to give up searching him. I remember how mom was like at night kept mentioning of our dog, and how she said how she misses him. I did too, but I told myself he must have run away in order to comfort myself, but I knew deep down in my heart, I was worrying.

On the next day, neighbour's wife found the dog down in the skeptic tank, and said the construction workers to inform us. by then it's like at around 2 PM. So our dog was in the WHOLE time in that skeptic tank. Probably from 5 PM to 2 PM. No wonder why he had pneumonia, with all the rainwater landed on him. I remember he was shaking, weak, scared, and full of mud. As soon as I saw him it made me so depressed, broken heart. I was scared too, because he was just fine the day before. ! So my parents washed, and cleaned him, and took him to doctor.

After a week or two later, after we rescued the dog, he was a kind of okay, but then he caught another disease, which made him to have wounds all over his body. He was still okay, because my parents treated him well by applying meds, but I have noticed on this sunday, meaning october 27.! he had some problem in his back leg, because he was walking like uncomfy. in fact he fell down while trying to walk. We had college on that day, yeah on Sunday.! I couldn't pay attention to the lecture in the whole day. I was thinking how I could help him. I pressured my parents to take him to doctor, but they were reluctant due to lack of money. I felt like I should have taken him to the doctor, but I couldn't do it alone. Besides, after the semester started, I had little to no time for all other stuff, I have allergy, and honestly I was scared to catch germs too. I wouldn't be if I can afford for healthcare, but I don't have a proper income. so if I got sick, it might affect to the entire family, as I buy foods for my family from the money I earn from doing side jobs, in addition I have to earn money for my future, for me and my girlfriend to marry and settle down.

So I was like a kind of busy, and overwhelmed of financial burden. I remember when I returned from college, I saw our dog was sleeping while standing. I felt so upset, sad when I saw his condition. That image is still in my head.! Now I feel like I should have done something for him on this sunday.! I could have taken him to doctor, then at least he might have lived at least for another year or two (He was 14 when he died.). This is why I feel so guilty. I later thought of calling the mobile vet service (today, and yesterday), but since it's a kind of expensive, I hesitated. in fact that hesitant made me to take time, but I thought I should have called today. I can earn money always, but if he gone, then I can't return him back. :'( but then I overheard how my mom said our dog died around 2 PM.

He wouldn't have died if he didn't fall from the roof. That fall I think made his death quick. The day before yesterday (October 28) he fell from roof (at night). Because we didn't tie him to anywhere, he had the freedom to go anywhere he wants. We live in a rented home where the roof is not completed yet, so he went upstairs the day before yesterday night, and slipped and fell down. I dunno why he went upstairs, because it was a rainy day, and he hates rain. besides I kept a wooden barrier to prevent him from going to upstairs, but I found out later my parents forgot to cover it because they often go to upstairs to remove rain water. There is no roof, it's just a slab. so it's important to remove water often, or otherwise mosquitos might lay eggs in water. We live in a third world asian country, where diseases caused by mosquitos are so high.

Anyway, we found him on the grass when we overheard he was making noise after falling, then my dad carried him and placed him on his place, and applied some meds on him. I told them to take him to doctor, but they weren't interested as they thought he was okay, because he fell on grass, and the height from he fell wasn't that high. He didn't fall like from above, but slipped, and then fell. Even though the entire home didn't have a proper roof, the area he slept has a roof. The owner installed it not to protect him, but to protect the unfinished part from rain water.

That roof is like A shape, meaning if you sit on top side, you slip down and fall down. So the damage is low compared to fall straightly from the roof. Maybe that's why my parents thought it's not needed to take him to a doctor. Maybe they would have, but due to lack of money, and not having a transportation service (yeah we have no vehicle other than a small bike, and taxi drivers hesitate to take wounded dogs) they tend to think more when doing something. So unless they deem it necessary it's not gonna happen. I guess everyone thinks like that here. including myself, because when you live with poverty you have no other options than thinking of saving money for your own survival.

Sometimes I felt like I could have asked money from my girlfriend whose family is doing fine, but I didn't want to be a burden to her. besides she bought me a lot of gifts, and also bought our dog foods too. So how could I ask more from her? We are actually poor, dad has no job, I don't have a proper job either, and earn money from doing side jobs, which are not even consistent. so we always have the money problem. so we kept our dog by giving him whatever we had. yesterday he was kind of okay too (not exactly, but he made noises in the whole night), but today he passed away a couple of hours ago. :'( I feel like devastated. I wish if could have done something more for him even though he was not my dog. He was the dog of my sister, and her husband, but they abandoned him when she left after married. Ever since that, we had been taking care of him. It was so difficult for us due to lack of money.

It's really sad how money was the cause why we lost our dog. If I had enough money, I could have called the vet ambulance without any hesitant, and sent him to a best vet hospital, then he would still live.!! I cried today a lot, but I don't want to cry in front of my parents, because I don't want they judge me. Yeah, here society is a kind of judgemental towards men who cry. It's really painful to know how he was okay before September 28.! So now it's like just over a month. Unbelievable, how life changes. One lesson I learned from this is, it's important you to have money. If you have money, nowadays you can also extend your life, cure virtually any disease. I know he is going to die sooner or later, because he was 14 by the time he died, but I am sad the WAY he died. He died with wounds on him, he had flies all over him despite we did our best to shove them away, he had a problem in his back leg too. :'( I feel so guilty, upset, and broken heart. I thought myself, I will end up being financially good. I don't have to be super rich, just enough to help myself, my family, my girlfriend (whom I am going to marry), and also anyone I love. I don't want to be helpless EVER AGAIN.
xixgunM
My condolences on the passing of your friend.

And I can't help but feel we've been taught, "the love of money is the root of all evil" is rather a moment of sour grapes on the author's part.
馃槩 I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you forgive yourself though....鈽癸笍
Angular31-35, M
[@372543,Vivaci] Thanks. I hope he will reborn again among us as a human. (we are buddhists, so we believe in reincarnation).
curiosi56-60, F
Very sorry for your loss.

 
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