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my beloved cat called 'comel'

i've had her for 2 years now. we got her a while after my other cat went missing. they look identical, and has the same behaviours. not the type to believe in reincarnation but this gave me some hope and comfort at the very least. i love her, and i cherish her. she sleeps with me, she eats next to me, she loves being silly and distract me from my work. once she chewed on my presentation paper just because she liked it. she also gives me tons of scratches, once it was on my face. her fur is all over my clothes, especially my black shirts. she loves being carried. whenever she cries out, i just pick her up and she goes silent, looking around in wonder as i bring her around the house.

she gave birth to 3 kittens who are now grown up, one of them even bigger than her. then a few months after that she gave birth to 4 more kittens, they're still very little atm. very naughty and active, these kittens give her some company after being alone for a while.

she dislikes male cats and only goes out to meet one when she has to mate, or when it was the mating season. she's just a normal domestic cat, no breed or whatsoever. a stray cat. we were always with eachother. she waited for me as i come home from school, the first to wake up and run to the gates. the first to wake me up in the morning to go to school, my personal alarm. also the one to sleep next to me whenever i needed a companion. she sometimes hate being petted but sometimes she loves it so much that she just rolled around on our feet and stuck with us the whole day.

her presence is all over the house. and today, this evening, she passed away.
i can't cope, i can't be comforted and i can't even hug something warm anymore, since she's gone. she used to wait at the stairs and would come up to my room at midnight when i call, but now i can't call anyone anymore. no one will answer if i call for her name.

my jaw hurt from crying out loud today, and i haven't eaten anything other than fried rice around afternoon, 12 or so. i miss her so badly. i want her to come back but i know that's impossible. she'll never be replaced, she's my one and only cat, called comel. the one whose fur would be all over my socks and my shirt, the one who would whine all day for attention, one who bites me and scratch me for no reason, make biscuits on my plushies and my stomach, and the one who gave birth next to me in my bed. i'll never forgive myself for letting her die like this.

i miss you comel, i hope that we'll meet again someday.

 
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