My old boy Bubu of 18 years. I think he is going to die soon. I was sad before, now I'm crying and screaming my guts out.

He hasn't been well. He's been getting older and frailer. And he is having trouble keeping his food down. I don't know what to do. I took him to the vet last year and said he was healthy but he had something wrong with his tummy. But I didn't need to worry about it now. Apparently I do. Because now he is sick. And I'm petrified I'm going to lose the last thing my mother gave me before she died. I'm in absolute agony. I cannot comprehend how this had made everything so much worse. I don't think I'm going to be able to handle it. I do not think I'm going to be able to. I don't think I'll ever be able to heal after this. I believe this is going to permanently destroy me. I'm too attached to my baby to let him go. He's all I have. I feel as if I'm engulfed in pain. He's not even gone and my thoughts are telling me I should go with him. The stress is going to kill me.

*My Maniac crying has gone numb but I was able to stop. I'm able to control my breathing as of now. But my head hurts very much rn.*