I missed Witchy Wednesday, so let's call this Teaching Thursday
Is there someone in your life telling harmful lies about you? Well, you're in luck, gentle reader. Today, I'm going to keep you the Liar Liar Pants On Fire spell. This is kind of a literalistic spell, but it works because of the association we all have with that rhyme.
Components you'll need:
A cauldron or other safe place to set something on fire
A bottle of Tabasco sauce or other hot sauce
A pair of the offender's underwear (if you can't get hold of their actual pants, get a pair some other way and write their name in it in black marker, but it does work best if you have their personal undergarments)
Thistles, nettles, and cinquefoil
Rubbing alcohol
A lighter or other firestarter
Go someplace isolated, preferably outdoors, because you're about to create a lot of smoke. Take your cauldron and place it on the ground. Now take the underwear, and lay them out with the inside of the crotch facing up. Pour the Tabasco sauce on the crotch. Sprinkle your herbs on the wet Tabasco sauce so that they cling to the underwear. Now take some of your rubbing alcohol (USE SPARINGLY) and pour it on your underwear hot sauce mix.
Now comes the part I know you've been waiting for.
Burn it. Burn it with intent, and while chanting:
(The person’s name) I’ve had enough
I rise above you, I’ve gotten tough
The wagging tongues of the flame bite back
I refuse to take this hateful flack
Your lies are a conflagration
Bringing you to degradation
Your deceit recedes it’s clinging grasp
And I am free, the truth at last.
Take extreme care not to let any of the ashes remain on your property. It's best to scatter them in a graveyard, but any old field will do. (Or, if you're feeling courageous, scatter the ashes on the property of the offending person.)
Blessed be.
Components you'll need:
A cauldron or other safe place to set something on fire
A bottle of Tabasco sauce or other hot sauce
A pair of the offender's underwear (if you can't get hold of their actual pants, get a pair some other way and write their name in it in black marker, but it does work best if you have their personal undergarments)
Thistles, nettles, and cinquefoil
Rubbing alcohol
A lighter or other firestarter
Go someplace isolated, preferably outdoors, because you're about to create a lot of smoke. Take your cauldron and place it on the ground. Now take the underwear, and lay them out with the inside of the crotch facing up. Pour the Tabasco sauce on the crotch. Sprinkle your herbs on the wet Tabasco sauce so that they cling to the underwear. Now take some of your rubbing alcohol (USE SPARINGLY) and pour it on your underwear hot sauce mix.
Now comes the part I know you've been waiting for.
Burn it. Burn it with intent, and while chanting:
(The person’s name) I’ve had enough
I rise above you, I’ve gotten tough
The wagging tongues of the flame bite back
I refuse to take this hateful flack
Your lies are a conflagration
Bringing you to degradation
Your deceit recedes it’s clinging grasp
And I am free, the truth at last.
Take extreme care not to let any of the ashes remain on your property. It's best to scatter them in a graveyard, but any old field will do. (Or, if you're feeling courageous, scatter the ashes on the property of the offending person.)
Blessed be.

