(*IMPORTANT SURVEY*) SPANKING DISCIPLINE ...From innocent soft home spankings to caning Extremes - What is your preference? ...don't lie!

@LauriesDarkDesires oh my, Laurie if you enter the matchmaking realm that might trigger a branch reality.

@LauriesDarkDesires There have been no counselors. I imagine not so great a response to the things I know about myself. Many times in regular chats and forum places when I started being honest it always resulted in being told I was wrong and messed up for thinking I liked the things I do. To be told I shouldn't feel like how I can't help feeling is something that I'm absolutely sure would be the same as how my parents are. I know it seems strange but I just find it more real and honest talking to people at places like this. I hav been told so many times that places like this are dangerous and full of bad people. But regular chatting and places with "good" people are ALWAYS so much motr worse!!! People pretending to be "good" but always talking at me instead of to me? People that want to "help" by telling me that I ned help to stop thinking i like and want certain things? People that will never even admit that they have their own thoughts and feelings they would never tell anyone? No thanks. How could they really care and be honest f they can'teven be honest about themselves? THAT is where I have found monsters! Those that convince themselves that foxes don't really eat rabbits, or try to live lke that reality isn't true. But hide heir own "dark side" no thanks.

I can't argue with the self-esteem thing. I would feel the dishonesty if I did. It just makes sense. Your "not strong opinion" about my Frankenparents isn't something I disagree with either! lol Makes me wonder what a strong opinion would be from you!! God! haha But I get it. You saying that isn't much different from my thoughts of their demise. Thank you for that. I just choose to not focus on revenge or hatred of them even as I process my life and journey. I choose to at least not let them have that power in my head. Am I completely successful? NOPE. But it keeps e from that endless spiral of blaming and hate. They are who they are. I can only focus on who I am and will become. I WILL NOT continue to be their victim. That is how I grow my self-esteem. By being me. They punish themselves quite well actually. Their life sucks MUCH worse than mine...

@WoodsGirl
Nicely said. I love the way you have come to accept and are embracing who you really are and have become. Wanting to exploit it to it's fullest for what it is. I can help you with that :)

I am learning to understand you more with each descriptive word that you write. You are a true Gem.

You can venture off with me more deeply into Darkness, you can remain in the light or you may want to feel the freedom to experience a little bit or a lot of both.

Explore the Sensual, Sexual, and other, Exhilaration that may bring happiness and the tears you describe.

All has a purpose.

@LauriesDarkDesires I know that no one will truly know me at this point. I also have to believe that this will come with time. I don't know myself completely. I called myself WoodsGirl simply because in my whole life the only time that I feel like myself is in the woods and away from home. I ache for that freedom while with someone. In nature what you see is what there is. There is no good or bad, there is only what is. I have thought about if one of those bears had decided to eat me. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT want that to happen! But if it had, would it be because the bear was bad? I don't believe that. It would have been a bear being a bear! I can't be mad about that.

You talked about Darkness. Would a bear attack be considered Darkness? It's just being a bear. I submit to what simply is. I really want to explore who I am. If that is called a Darkness then that's just what it is. Not good or bad, just what is. I know I am submissive. I have read and see too many things about mysef to even try to deny it. What that will mean as far as actions and expeiences I don't really know yet, but Darkness and the honesty of it will be part of it. What remains for me is discovering thoe that are caring by their own honesty of Darkness. THAT is my insecurity. Knowing whether or not someone is being honest even if they may be a bear. This may sound weird, I DO NOT want to die, but I also want to feel the fear of it? Just like every other part of life. If that makes sense. Maybe it isn't something a "counselor" could even understand. But I hope it's possible that there are those that do understand and can be honest in that themselves. My answer, I think, is a lot of both. I don't really see either as good or bad. A belt could be called Darkness, but the light I feel from the reactions are just real.

You called my words descriptive, That has been something hard for me to really know how I am viewed. I literally learned to write mostly by reading and writing poetry. So I do tend to try to be descriptive to try and explain myself better. I could say a squirrel can live off of acorns. But to say 'the concentrated potential of a future tree is more than enough to sustain a squirrel" paints a much bigger meaning in someone's mind. Yet I know I sound strange at times. I am. My curiosity and learning, due to having a different life, began early and may not be quite so normal. But I am who I am. I wrote this not long before turning 13.....

I Am Unfinished

Lying in my deathbed
Grieving a life not done
Days gone of loss
Moments that were won.

My time draws nearer
Aching for a little more
Looking down that tunnel
Seeing death's dark door.

How much time remains
To know the things that I do not
Unknown pains and pleasures to live
In a time and life forgot.

I lie in my deathbed
The same as when I will go
Contemplating this day
And what secrets I will learn to know.

Whether a day, a month, a year or forty
I know my time will come
As all life ends with death
But what paths will I plumb.

Thirteen and in my deathbed
Though it may well be a long road
I plan my days to see as many paths
Before life ends in death's abode.

@HumanEarth
I knew that. I just call you 'The Special Person' :)

...I am so late to sleep, signing off now, sleep tight and sweet dreams Ms HE

I should to, my sleep iis messed up. I fell asleep on the couch and now I'm awake

Nights and laters

@Familygirl their tight firm cheeks turning all red is the best!

@LauriesDarkDesires

Well, we all thought we knew that !

The female bottom tends to be fuller than the male, and therefore ripples so attractively for the spanker. I am inclined to the opinion that the correlation between spanking and sexual desire is greater for females leading to greater desire from spankees (although I have known male spankees display their excitement).

@emmasfriend
I like the way you think :)