Silver linings in dark clouds
I don’t really know why I’m writing this. Maybe because keeping everything inside is getting exhausting.I’m sad. Much sadder than I’ve been letting on.Everything feels uncertain at the moment. Money, work, my future. I keep trying to make plans and tell myself I’ll figure it out because I always have, but lately I don’t feel like the person who always figures things out. I feel lost.
And I miss someone more than I want to admit.Mostly I just miss feeling like I mattered to someone. There’s a horrible emptiness when somebody who was part of your everyday life suddenly isn’t there anymore. You keep instinctively reaching for them and then remembering that you can’t. Some days I manage perfectly well. Other days I feel like I’m holding myself together with bits of string and hoping nobody looks too closely.
Tonight I’m not looking for wisdom or silver linings.
I just wish someone would sit beside me for a while and understand that I’m not okay.
Because I’m really not
And I miss someone more than I want to admit.Mostly I just miss feeling like I mattered to someone. There’s a horrible emptiness when somebody who was part of your everyday life suddenly isn’t there anymore. You keep instinctively reaching for them and then remembering that you can’t. Some days I manage perfectly well. Other days I feel like I’m holding myself together with bits of string and hoping nobody looks too closely.
Tonight I’m not looking for wisdom or silver linings.
I just wish someone would sit beside me for a while and understand that I’m not okay.
Because I’m really not
