Saw the moon exposed like this, so i figured I could get a good picture of it.
I used to hate the night and the moon. When I was going through the worst chapters of my life, I felt an almost crippling depression and anxiety. I hated everything. I hated myself, and I honestly don’t know where I found the strength to get up every day and make a change. I had an inner voice that said I would fail, and yet somehow I was able to press on. Still, I found very little comfort at night. It was lonely, and I already had a black cloud over my head. I hated going home. I don’t know what it was, but it just felt like any relief I got somewhere else disappeared when it was time to go home. I was going back to the darkness.
I often slept during the day with the sun on me. For some reason, knowing the world was awake and that it was there when I needed it gave me some comfort, but at night, everything and everyone was asleep. That is normally when I would work out, around 2 a.m. To this day, I still find a lot of energy and comfort in the sun, but I have made peace with the moon and the night.
I made the changes in myself that I needed to make, but I also got away from everything and started a new life. Sometimes, that is what is needed when there aren’t really any other identifiable factors contributing to depression.
