NYC buttcrack
i woke up to my phone alarm at 7am and i just lay there for a minute staring at the ceiling of this brooklyn airbnb and i was already in a bad mood because i knew i had a problem because i'd packed terribly and the only clean pants i had left were these black low rise jeans that i'd bought two years ago when i was skinnier and my butt was smaller and i stood up and looked at myself in the mirror and sighed because my butt had always been huge it was just genetics my mom had it my grandma had it and these jeans were not made for someone with my proportions and i pulled them on anyway because what choice did i have and immediately i felt the waistband digging into the bottom of my cheeks and my butt just bursting out the back and i tried to pull them up higher but they wouldn't go they hit my hips and stopped and i had like eight inches of crack showing already and i was so annoyed and i put on my black thong underneath which didn't help and then i grabbed my oversized sweatshirt
and pulled it on and tugged it down in the back as far as it would go which covered maybe three inches and left a good amount exposed and i grabbed my bag and headed out into the january cold already pissed off
the walk to the subway was freezing and i kept having to tug my sweater down every three seconds because it kept riding up and i could feel the cold air hitting my lower back and i knew my crack was showing and i passed this construction worker who was leaning against a scaffold and he said morning and i said hi and kept walking and i felt his eyes on me and i knew he was looking at my backside and i tugged the sweater down again but it just rode back up and i got to the subway and the platform was packed and i stood there waiting and this woman next to me kept looking at my waist and then looking away and i wanted to scream i know my crack is showing stop looking and i couldn't pull my pants up because it wouldn't help they were already as high as they would go and the train came and i got on and grabbed the overhead pole and immediately my sweater rode up because my arms were raised and i felt the cold metal of the pole against my palm and the cold air against my lower back and i knew i was showing a lot probably close to ten inches and i tried to tug the sweater down with my free hand but it was no use and i just had to stand there for six stops with all that crack exposed to the entire car and this guy in a suit kept glancing over and then looking at his phone and then glancing over again and i wanted to punch him
i got off at 42nd street and walked to this coffee shop and ordered a latte and a bagel and the barista was this young guy with tattoos and he kept looking down at my waist while he made my drink and i was standing there tugging my sweater down and he handed me the cup and said have a good day and i knew he was looking at my exposed backside and i took my coffee and walked to the new york public library because i needed to get some work done and i walked up those big stairs and my jeans were sliding lower with every step and i got inside and it was warm and i took off my coat and immediately my sweater rode up and i tugged it down and went to the stacks to find a book i needed and i was standing there reaching up for a book and i felt my jeans slide down my hips and my sweater ride up and i knew i was showing a good amount and i heard someone clear their throat behind me and i turned and this guy was standing there in a button down shirt and he said excuse me i dropped my pen could you grab it for me my back hurts and i looked down and there was a pen on the floor and i said sure and i bent over to pick it up and my jeans immediately slid down my butt and i felt the cool air on my crack and i was showing everything like a full foot of skin and i stood up fast and handed him the pen and my sweater had ridden way up and he was staring at my waist and he said thanks and walked away smiling and i tugged my sweater down and i was so annoyed because i knew he just wanted to see my crack
i found a table in the corner and sat down and tried to work on my laptop but my jeans were so tight i couldn't get comfortable and i kept shifting in the chair and feeling them slide lower and i was sitting there for like an hour and people kept walking by and looking at me and i didn't know why and then i felt something cold touch my back and i reached back and felt a sticky note and i pulled it off and it said "feed the meter" with a picture of a parking meter and an arrow pointing down and i turned red and i reached back and felt my jeans and they had slid way down and i was showing a lot and i felt something in my underwear and i pulled out a quarter and i was confused and i sat back down and kept working and then i felt another weight and i reached back and pulled out a dime and then a nickel and then another quarter and then a penny and after the fifth coin i realized people had been putting money in my crack because of the sticky note and i was so mortified i wanted to scream and i turned around and looked at the tables behind me and there were like three guys laughing and i stood up and said you think this is funny and they just laughed harder and i grabbed my stuff and left
i left the library at noon and walked to this lunch place that had outdoor seating even though it was like 30 degrees outside and i sat in one of those open back chairs with the slats and my butt was pressed right against the cold metal and i ordered a sandwich and a soup and i was eating and reading on my phone and i didn't notice that my jeans had slid down from sitting and my crack was pressed against the slats and i felt something cold and wet touch my skin and i jumped and turned around and this kid like ten years old was standing there with a half melted snowball and he had dropped it right down my crack and i said what the hell and his mom came running over and said i am so sorry and i said its fine whatever and i stood up and my jeans slid down to my thighs and i grabbed them and pulled them up but they just slid back down and i sat back down and finished my lunch with snow melting down my crack and dripping into my underwear and i was so uncomfortable and annoyed
i walked toward central park and i was walking through the park taking photos of the snow on the trees and i was bending over to get low angles and every time i bent my jeans slid down my butt and i was showing a ton of skin and i kept having to stand up and pull my sweater down and this guy in a peacoat came up and said do you need help with the photo and i said no im fine and he said are you sure and i said im good and walked away and i saw him staring at my backside as i walked and i was so tired of this i just wanted to go home
i went to the met and walked around the museum and my hands were full with my coat and my bag and my phone and my camera and i felt my jeans sliding down my hips and i couldn't do anything because my hands were full and i walked past a group of teenagers and one of them said nice crack lady and i said shut up and kept walking and my jeans were at like my thighs now and i was basically walking with my pants falling off and i found a bench and sat down and dropped everything and pulled them up but they just slid down again and i walked through the egyptian exhibit with a good nine inches showing and this security guard kept following me and i knew he was just watching my butt and i was so done
i left the museum at six and decided to take the bus back to brooklyn instead of the subway because i couldn't handle the stairs and i walked to the bus stop and my hands were full with my coat and my bag and my leftovers and my phone and the bus came and it was packed and i walked down the aisle looking for a seat and the only open seat was in the very back next to this guy who was probably my age with dark hair and a nice jacket and he was actually really cute and i sat down and tried to hold my stuff and my jeans were already low and then the bus started moving and hit a bump and my jeans just gave up and slid all the way down to my thighs and i was sitting there with a full ten inches showing minimum probably more like twelve because i was sitting and i said oh my god im so sorry and i tried to pull them up with my free hand but i only pulled them up like an inch and they slid back down and i was too tired to fight it and he said its fine dont worry about it and he was trying not to look but i knew he was looking and i said my pants dont fit and he said i can see that and i laughed and he laughed and i thought maybe this wasnt so bad and then i went to grab my phone from my pocket and i fumbled it and it fell on the floor between my feet and i said oh no and i had to bend over to get it and i bent forward and my sweater rode way up and my jeans were at my thighs and i was showing like twelve inches of crack right in his face and i could feel his breath on my skin and i grabbed my phone and sat back up and i was so embarrassed i was red and i said im so sorry and he said its really okay and i said i should go and i stood up and my pants fell to my ankles and i tripped and he caught me and i was standing there with my pants around my ankles and my crack showing everything and the whole back of the bus was staring and i pulled them up and ran off at the next stop even though it wasnt my stop and i walked the rest of the way to the airbnb with my pants at my thighs and when i got inside i looked in the mirror and my butt was red from the cold and my jeans were stretched out and i threw them in the trash and said never again and put on sweatpants and went to bed. I see this on facebook a couple days later
and pulled it on and tugged it down in the back as far as it would go which covered maybe three inches and left a good amount exposed and i grabbed my bag and headed out into the january cold already pissed off
the walk to the subway was freezing and i kept having to tug my sweater down every three seconds because it kept riding up and i could feel the cold air hitting my lower back and i knew my crack was showing and i passed this construction worker who was leaning against a scaffold and he said morning and i said hi and kept walking and i felt his eyes on me and i knew he was looking at my backside and i tugged the sweater down again but it just rode back up and i got to the subway and the platform was packed and i stood there waiting and this woman next to me kept looking at my waist and then looking away and i wanted to scream i know my crack is showing stop looking and i couldn't pull my pants up because it wouldn't help they were already as high as they would go and the train came and i got on and grabbed the overhead pole and immediately my sweater rode up because my arms were raised and i felt the cold metal of the pole against my palm and the cold air against my lower back and i knew i was showing a lot probably close to ten inches and i tried to tug the sweater down with my free hand but it was no use and i just had to stand there for six stops with all that crack exposed to the entire car and this guy in a suit kept glancing over and then looking at his phone and then glancing over again and i wanted to punch him
i got off at 42nd street and walked to this coffee shop and ordered a latte and a bagel and the barista was this young guy with tattoos and he kept looking down at my waist while he made my drink and i was standing there tugging my sweater down and he handed me the cup and said have a good day and i knew he was looking at my exposed backside and i took my coffee and walked to the new york public library because i needed to get some work done and i walked up those big stairs and my jeans were sliding lower with every step and i got inside and it was warm and i took off my coat and immediately my sweater rode up and i tugged it down and went to the stacks to find a book i needed and i was standing there reaching up for a book and i felt my jeans slide down my hips and my sweater ride up and i knew i was showing a good amount and i heard someone clear their throat behind me and i turned and this guy was standing there in a button down shirt and he said excuse me i dropped my pen could you grab it for me my back hurts and i looked down and there was a pen on the floor and i said sure and i bent over to pick it up and my jeans immediately slid down my butt and i felt the cool air on my crack and i was showing everything like a full foot of skin and i stood up fast and handed him the pen and my sweater had ridden way up and he was staring at my waist and he said thanks and walked away smiling and i tugged my sweater down and i was so annoyed because i knew he just wanted to see my crack
i found a table in the corner and sat down and tried to work on my laptop but my jeans were so tight i couldn't get comfortable and i kept shifting in the chair and feeling them slide lower and i was sitting there for like an hour and people kept walking by and looking at me and i didn't know why and then i felt something cold touch my back and i reached back and felt a sticky note and i pulled it off and it said "feed the meter" with a picture of a parking meter and an arrow pointing down and i turned red and i reached back and felt my jeans and they had slid way down and i was showing a lot and i felt something in my underwear and i pulled out a quarter and i was confused and i sat back down and kept working and then i felt another weight and i reached back and pulled out a dime and then a nickel and then another quarter and then a penny and after the fifth coin i realized people had been putting money in my crack because of the sticky note and i was so mortified i wanted to scream and i turned around and looked at the tables behind me and there were like three guys laughing and i stood up and said you think this is funny and they just laughed harder and i grabbed my stuff and left
i left the library at noon and walked to this lunch place that had outdoor seating even though it was like 30 degrees outside and i sat in one of those open back chairs with the slats and my butt was pressed right against the cold metal and i ordered a sandwich and a soup and i was eating and reading on my phone and i didn't notice that my jeans had slid down from sitting and my crack was pressed against the slats and i felt something cold and wet touch my skin and i jumped and turned around and this kid like ten years old was standing there with a half melted snowball and he had dropped it right down my crack and i said what the hell and his mom came running over and said i am so sorry and i said its fine whatever and i stood up and my jeans slid down to my thighs and i grabbed them and pulled them up but they just slid back down and i sat back down and finished my lunch with snow melting down my crack and dripping into my underwear and i was so uncomfortable and annoyed
i walked toward central park and i was walking through the park taking photos of the snow on the trees and i was bending over to get low angles and every time i bent my jeans slid down my butt and i was showing a ton of skin and i kept having to stand up and pull my sweater down and this guy in a peacoat came up and said do you need help with the photo and i said no im fine and he said are you sure and i said im good and walked away and i saw him staring at my backside as i walked and i was so tired of this i just wanted to go home
i went to the met and walked around the museum and my hands were full with my coat and my bag and my phone and my camera and i felt my jeans sliding down my hips and i couldn't do anything because my hands were full and i walked past a group of teenagers and one of them said nice crack lady and i said shut up and kept walking and my jeans were at like my thighs now and i was basically walking with my pants falling off and i found a bench and sat down and dropped everything and pulled them up but they just slid down again and i walked through the egyptian exhibit with a good nine inches showing and this security guard kept following me and i knew he was just watching my butt and i was so done
i left the museum at six and decided to take the bus back to brooklyn instead of the subway because i couldn't handle the stairs and i walked to the bus stop and my hands were full with my coat and my bag and my leftovers and my phone and the bus came and it was packed and i walked down the aisle looking for a seat and the only open seat was in the very back next to this guy who was probably my age with dark hair and a nice jacket and he was actually really cute and i sat down and tried to hold my stuff and my jeans were already low and then the bus started moving and hit a bump and my jeans just gave up and slid all the way down to my thighs and i was sitting there with a full ten inches showing minimum probably more like twelve because i was sitting and i said oh my god im so sorry and i tried to pull them up with my free hand but i only pulled them up like an inch and they slid back down and i was too tired to fight it and he said its fine dont worry about it and he was trying not to look but i knew he was looking and i said my pants dont fit and he said i can see that and i laughed and he laughed and i thought maybe this wasnt so bad and then i went to grab my phone from my pocket and i fumbled it and it fell on the floor between my feet and i said oh no and i had to bend over to get it and i bent forward and my sweater rode way up and my jeans were at my thighs and i was showing like twelve inches of crack right in his face and i could feel his breath on my skin and i grabbed my phone and sat back up and i was so embarrassed i was red and i said im so sorry and he said its really okay and i said i should go and i stood up and my pants fell to my ankles and i tripped and he caught me and i was standing there with my pants around my ankles and my crack showing everything and the whole back of the bus was staring and i pulled them up and ran off at the next stop even though it wasnt my stop and i walked the rest of the way to the airbnb with my pants at my thighs and when i got inside i looked in the mirror and my butt was red from the cold and my jeans were stretched out and i threw them in the trash and said never again and put on sweatpants and went to bed. I see this on facebook a couple days later
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