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Common tropes that look super romantic and attractive in romance novels or movies but get old very fast or are major red flags in rl relationships?

For me, it’s the “you are my everything” male character that is always consumed with love and passion for the female heroine and who spends every single moment he has to be apart from them just aching to be with them again. This is romanticized so much in romance novels and films, but in a real relationship where a partner has no hobbies, friends, or any kind of internal life outside of just constantly aching for their partner and wanting to be by their side at all times when they aren’t together is so suffocating. That’s just pure codependency. 😬

I’d love to hear from the men on here too about female heroine behaviors that are often romanticized in the media but would be major icks in a real life relationship. I can think of many male character behaviors that would fall into that category, but rarely hear the male perspectives on common female character tropes so I would love that insight as well.
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Achelois · F
Ths is interesting 🧐

I used to have codependency but I was never the type to want to be with them constantly, I am a romantic though, I need my own space, own things to do, I’ve always been independent, I guess there’s different levels.

Mine was more about ending a relationship that wasn’t healthy for me, I’d struggle to let go even when I knew they weren’t healthy for me.
JustNik · 51-55, F
The idea that romance is something defined by rare specific material things. Flowers, candlelit dinner, fancy clothes, chocolates. Romance is holding hands on a walk, a kiss or touch as passing by, a warm embrace on a stressful day. It’s affection and connection during the everyday.
I dont like the giving of flowers, valentines day, Even the 'going out to dinner thing - how is that romantic: eating in front of others? Minding every single table etiquette you know, noisy atmosphere, with others eating around you, bright lights?

Nope....dont understand it.

Why single out a day to show someone you care?
Shouldn't that come naturally every day ?
AngelaR80 · 41-45, F
Recently divorced and started looking for a relationship again. I partly expected the "I'm your everything" type to be swept off my feet etc. It's not like that at, all and probably for the better but my wish was for a non reality
PinkMoon · 26-30, F
The whole "not giving up on you" trope where the man wrongs the woman and tries to desperately win her love back despite her setting clear boundaries.
deadmoon · 31-35, F
@PinkMoon Ugh, yeah. I would have hated that in real life too.
PinkMoon · 26-30, F
@deadmoon Someone I was once in a relationship with did this to me,it was awful. He got new numbers to contact me from,came to my house, used and manipulated his mother and my parents into giving me a birthday gift which I threw out. Fortunately he stopped.
Just about every rom com on Netflix over Christmas.

Girl meets boy on the first day of Christmas - and, by the time the snow melts they're married with children.
deadmoon · 31-35, F
@HootyTheNightOwl Ah, right. The fast paced romances. Those are kind of scary in real life.
In rom-coms alot of straight up stalker behavior is presented as cute or romantic if you think about it for even 5 minutes.

 
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