Songs I relate to:

Gone gone gone by Phillip Phillips and happier by bastille and Marshamello. They remind me of my ex who I love still but it’s long after he is gone gone gone. I think of him less than I used to but I still do occasionally cry over his absence. It was my fault for breaking up with him two years ago because I thought he deserved better than me, I wanted to free him of waiting around for me to mature and get my life together( we were together for seven years), and I felt lonely sometimes because it was a virtual relationship. Although he tried very hard to make sure I felt loved and appreciated, I didn’t finish my courses because I got stuck on course content and final exams with skillcrush.com and knowadays.com where I could have gotten the skills to get self employed freelance/independent contractor work and start making money to bring us one step closer to being together in real life. See the thing is he tried to save money to come visit me, but there was never enough money left over after all his bills were paid. I was in the eastern United States and he was in India. Though he has long stopped talking to me because got engaged and must have been married for some time now, before he got engaged and dated/courted his wife, he agreed with me we would alway.s be good friends even if we were not boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. Well things changed and I felt really sad. I not only lost the love of my life in e relationship but lost his friendship as well. He told me to please take care and have a good life. I have not heard one response from him since March 21, 2024. My other significant others I got over in a few months but this one is taking me literally years to get over. It’s been two years since our breakup and March 21. 2024 after being friends for eight months after our breakup was when he told me goodbye. I know people say goodbye all the time and people move on. But for some reason, I feel stuck on him. There is no point anyway. I had messaged him to tell him what was going on in my life but he never responded even learning I lost two grandparents and my family dog. Not even when I was supposedly very sick did he even check in on me. He went from loving me deeply to not caring at all. I know he has a wife and he didn’t want to make her suspicious or jealous of a romantic relationship that no longer existed, but I lost my best friend too. We were close friends first long ago before we ever started dating and I wish we could have salvaged some of that. I feel as though I lost a part of my soul and heart that I can never get back. He was the one for me though we were really far apart in distance. He had many wonderful qualities that I adored about him. I feel like a wolf that lost its mate and its pack. I know it’s hard to believe.but you can fall in love over long distance. I love him and he loved me for seven years until I broke his heart. Now even if I find someone else. There will always be a part of my heart that belongs to Sujeet kumal jha. I wonder what his life is like now and if he is happy. I want him to be happy and loved. But I also wanted a place in his life too as his. Friend if I could no longer be his lover. I feel so dejected. Sometimes but I have to let him go. I can remember him and all the wonderful times he had together, but I need to stop being so sad that he is gone. I don’t think of him as much as I used to but the pain is still there. Well tonight I am going to write in my diary and read a book. That should take my mind off him. I have hobbies and passions I do to entertain myself and I divert my mind. Arts/crafts, languages, writing, music , word searches, reading, movies, etc. I. Knew he would find someone better than me if I broke it off and he has. Doesn’t mean I stopped loving him