I tried to send a voice message but it ran out of space before I could finish.

A long time ago I played piano in a public venue. It was a cover song. That was probably unknown to the manager who offered me a job there. I turned them down because I just didn't think I was good enough.

Last night I had a dream that I decided to make my own music based on that song. I came up with a plan to make a song that sounded like it, followed by making more music that sounded more original.

Basically I had a plan to create more music that sounded just as impressive as when that lady offered me a job.

Then I woke up. I remembered I am way too depressed to do that.

"Depressed" doesn't mean "unreasonable". It means that I honestly believe that I cannot.