I gifted a shamanic drum to myself after years of flirting around it, dreaming about it ...

I got my baby now. I call it my man, because it feels like it, it has this low bass sound and vibrates in a way that soothes me and most importantly, it makes me sing!
It's cow skin and so I cherish it as sacred, all animals are sacred of course. I have experience of feeling into cow's fields and indeed they create an elevation at the space around them.
I feel free enough to be crazy finally!
Be more of who I have always been.
I like to learn intuitively, I don't want for now to follow any tutorial or teacher or nothing, just me and the drum and my voice. All about my expression and play!:) loving the practice !
I have a long way to go because it is not I am practicing my voice, it is that I want to find my real voice, my true expression, and in order to do that I must experiment with sounding weird, sounding other times like a creature coming from the earth, others like a sirene...
I would love to take it to the woods and play but will see about it, it is somewhat big and I have no vehicle. Plus there are moments I hold it with confidence and others I'm feeling bit shy.
But these are my news. Finally my instrument came to me......I have been wanting to have an instrument for that long.