I have bipolar depression and when I flip to mad I feel sorta like that

I don't think I have BPD but getting into any argument is extremely draining! Especially when there is no good outcome, like a compromise or acceptance of the other's POV. When it's with family that you have to put up with, I find it's better to just avoid the argument and let them think what they're gonna think. It's a bit freeing that way.

Do you have to argue with them? Can you ignore their arguments?

personality disorder = SW Community