dystopian world we live in
i’m thinking about how i visited jordan for the first time ever last summer to visit my husband’s family. it was an amazing trip. it reminded me a lot of lebanon, just a little less beautiful and a little less charismatic people🤭 yet, it was still very gorgeous and the people were very nice. there’s just nothing in the world that’s comparable to your home country and its natives.
we were staying amman but the last a 10 days, we went to aqaba. we were at this beautiful resort, ive never felt more catered to in my life. arab countries are always on top of everything when it comes to hotels. we spent our days swimming in the pools and in the red sea. we went to this famous restaurant that serves country styled food, everything farm raised locally. i’m not a huge fan of lamb but gosh their lamb skewers were delicious.
we went on this boat ride during our last couple of days. there were saudis on the boat who played oud and drums while singing sailing songs. it was a beautiful experience. i attached a video of one of the sites we saw on the boat ride, along with some of singing of the saudi performers. it was the most perfect day.
however, in the beginning when the boat was taking off, we were told to stop filming anything until they say we can go back to filming. i was confused why, then i realized we were riding past what looked like a military base of some sort. i quickly realized that it was actually israel that i was looking at. i got this really cold feeling, it was like 95 degrees. it was this feeling i couldn’t shake in that moment of passing by this. even when i was spending time in amman, i was thinking about the palestinians who live around the area. it’s so sad to think about the reality of other people’s lives. worried sick about their families.
but to be passing by what could be weapons, IDF training, or whatever goes on there. that was just a sickening feeling. not even a 30 minute plane ride away, people who i see as my people, are getting slaughtered daily. not having water or food. shelter. people who’ve lost everything.
everyday i try to avoid thinking about my family in lebanon, my people who are dying and sleeping in a tent on the road. more specifically, i think about my aunt. she’s always been my favorite aunt. she’s a little crazy but that’s why i like her. she’s the most hardheaded person i’ve ever met, she’d fight anyone who says anything remotely rude to her. she’s also the most kindhearted and caring woman ever. i think about how my other aunt made me and her kid’s chicken nuggets. i mentioned that i loved them, the next day she comes back with these really weird looking chicken nuggets. im pretty sure they were just smaller chicken patties. it was just so sweet of her because she noticed i wasn’t really eating anything else, the food there definitely tasted a little off to me.
i think about how she’s a widow, with no children. she couldn’t even afford to leave her home into somewhere safe. she literally has no one. they all fled to the north. i can’t shake this thought of no one being there to recover her body if her home ever gets hit. it makes me so upset that i push out the thought as much as i can. my brother and i are sending all of our savings to her this weekend. i want her out of there asap.
life feels so weird. i get to be bundled up in my cozy bed, no real worry in the world about my life. while others are just praying to live through the day. there is nothing that differs us from them other than our luck of where we live.
we were staying amman but the last a 10 days, we went to aqaba. we were at this beautiful resort, ive never felt more catered to in my life. arab countries are always on top of everything when it comes to hotels. we spent our days swimming in the pools and in the red sea. we went to this famous restaurant that serves country styled food, everything farm raised locally. i’m not a huge fan of lamb but gosh their lamb skewers were delicious.
we went on this boat ride during our last couple of days. there were saudis on the boat who played oud and drums while singing sailing songs. it was a beautiful experience. i attached a video of one of the sites we saw on the boat ride, along with some of singing of the saudi performers. it was the most perfect day.
however, in the beginning when the boat was taking off, we were told to stop filming anything until they say we can go back to filming. i was confused why, then i realized we were riding past what looked like a military base of some sort. i quickly realized that it was actually israel that i was looking at. i got this really cold feeling, it was like 95 degrees. it was this feeling i couldn’t shake in that moment of passing by this. even when i was spending time in amman, i was thinking about the palestinians who live around the area. it’s so sad to think about the reality of other people’s lives. worried sick about their families.
but to be passing by what could be weapons, IDF training, or whatever goes on there. that was just a sickening feeling. not even a 30 minute plane ride away, people who i see as my people, are getting slaughtered daily. not having water or food. shelter. people who’ve lost everything.
everyday i try to avoid thinking about my family in lebanon, my people who are dying and sleeping in a tent on the road. more specifically, i think about my aunt. she’s always been my favorite aunt. she’s a little crazy but that’s why i like her. she’s the most hardheaded person i’ve ever met, she’d fight anyone who says anything remotely rude to her. she’s also the most kindhearted and caring woman ever. i think about how my other aunt made me and her kid’s chicken nuggets. i mentioned that i loved them, the next day she comes back with these really weird looking chicken nuggets. im pretty sure they were just smaller chicken patties. it was just so sweet of her because she noticed i wasn’t really eating anything else, the food there definitely tasted a little off to me.
i think about how she’s a widow, with no children. she couldn’t even afford to leave her home into somewhere safe. she literally has no one. they all fled to the north. i can’t shake this thought of no one being there to recover her body if her home ever gets hit. it makes me so upset that i push out the thought as much as i can. my brother and i are sending all of our savings to her this weekend. i want her out of there asap.
life feels so weird. i get to be bundled up in my cozy bed, no real worry in the world about my life. while others are just praying to live through the day. there is nothing that differs us from them other than our luck of where we live.
