I Have Known True Love and True Loss

I wasn't going to write anything else on this subject. However, I find myself recently obsessing over something that cannot be changed. I need to stop thinking it. I feel like a crazy person. I'm doing all I can to keep myself in check. There's family and work and vacation coming up to keep me distracted. I'm doing all the things you are supposed to when you have a crushing break up. Time hasn't done much to heal me. I keep trying to crawl out of the trash can I was dumped in but I haven't made it out yet. I still long for someone I will never see or talk to again. Someone who once loved me and made me feel so special is now loving and making another nice lady feel more loved and more special. I should move on. It's been a very long time. I keep thinking that when I have another relationship it will be better. It's elusive at the moment. Time is moving forward and I am going through the forward motions and yet my mind isn't budging. I don't want to feel like this next summer. I don't want to feel like I do this summer! These feelings are not going away. Something isn't right with me. Why not me? I found what I thought was my final love and for a time he loved me just as much. When you have had the best how does one settle for anything less? He had it all, and I want it all.

I've taken all the pictures, things he gave me, stuff I saved from our time together and put them away so they aren't in plain sight reminding me. How do I stop thinking about our time together? How do I forget? I don't want to feel like this any more. It's been over a year and soon it will be two. It's as if I made the whole thing up in my head. It's as if it never happened. It might as well have never happened.