I would literally give my soul...

for a man who cares enough to see that I struggle with my trying to do everything myself to make me stop and either take care of it, or help me.

I don't know that a man who is single in my age bracket is able to do that kind of thing. The majority of men I have met tell me, "Hard work is good for you!" and "It's great to be self sufficient!"

If that is the case, why do they think I want/need them? If you aren't taking stuff off my plate in care for me, why should I waste my time being there for you?

Men who genuinely care about their partner is about as rare as a diamond in a field of rocks.

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Livingwell · 61-69, M

I think men are real confused. I've heard several different responses when I tried to help. Some said they were independent women and didn't need a man's help. Women are just as capable. Others accused me of trying to control them. When my wife struggles using the computer and I try to help, she pulls it away and says she didn't ask for my help. She comes back 30min later for help and my debit card. Others wanted me to be available when they needed me but not before. And others wanted a sugar daddy but did not want to give anything in return. What ever happened to the concept of "partners" working together to be better than the sum of the parts? I guess those days are long gone.

FoxyQueen · 51-55, F

@Livingwell It all starts with communication. Every person is different on how they want to do things. Some want help right away. Some want to try first before getting help. One has to let the other know what their process is.

Like, I ask immediately if I need help. I will also state if I'm going to try to do something on my own first before asking for help, that way, they know they may want to stick around in case I do.

A lot of independent people are independent, not because they enjoy it, but because they are so used to being let down by others. That is my case. So I have learned to ask for help, not that I often get it.

It is confusing, but easier when you ask, "How would you like me to help you?" If they don't know how, and sometimes they don't, that's okay. Just let them know you will be there when they do need help. When you ask instead of just do, it really helps.

Livingwell · 61-69, M

@FoxyQueen I agree and I do that. But then they get all pissed off trying to get things to work and not ask for help. Some even tell you you are doing it wrong after struggling. At that point I walk away.