Thoughts on Soulmates

@WhateverWorks That’s all true. I just overestimated people. Even when addressing a word as loaded as soulmate, I didn’t think they would draw unrealistic conclusions that make no sense. I hoped my simple explanation would be enough to deter that, but it was too simple I’m afraid. It left too much room for interpretation and when the word soulmate is used, people will assume the worst with their interpretation. I tried to change the wording so it’s hopefully a little more comprehensive, but I’m not sure of how much good that did.

That’s the thing though.… The term soulmate exudes unrealistic expectations. That’s what makes it such an enchanting concept: The idea of meeting an incredibly rare, ‘special person’, distinguished from other connections, that by some spiritual, divine providence is custom to fit you. You did just fine reframing the term into something more realistic/obtainable. My point though is that redefining ‘soulmate’ into something less ‘magical’/extreme would then make the term itself rendered irrelevant.

@Reject

@WhateverWorks Well soulmates are either impossible or possible. People who don’t believe in them follow the impossible definition. Those who do follow the possible one. I was trying to explain the possible one. It’s the same issue religion often has. No one is going to believe in magical things at face value. You have to show them the way to it. Then it’s not magical anymore. It makes sense. That’s why magicians don’t reveal their tricks.

Or… instead of redefining soulmate we could just not use the term soulmate where it doesn’t definitionally fit and refer to couples who have a lot in common and balance out each other’s strengths/weaknesses as very compatible, which would be definitionally accurate and not enmeshed in all of the magical thinking that comes with ‘soulmate’. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@WhateverWorks Here’s the thing about that. A soulmate is defined as someone who is ideally suited to you. No one ever said your ideal has to be what you currently think it is forever. We grow and we change. We gain new understanding and we learn. Sometimes the mature come to realize that their ideal was never perfection. Perfect imperfections are a thing. So I’m not redefining soulmate as much as I am applying the right perspective to it.

I am inclined to agree with you, which is exactly why I disagree with people using terms like soulmate. I think rather than swimming against the tide trying to redefined the term that has had a magical meaning for very very long time it would be better for people to recognize how unrealistic the idea is and let it go @Reject

@WhateverWorks But that line of thinking makes magic impossible. The point I want to make is that nothing is impossible. You just don’t know how to make it possible yet. So maybe this is just a difference in our personal philosophy, but I’ve always learned the most when figuring out how something works, rather than dismissing it as something that doesn’t.

Well, I suppose that’s where I’m at with it. I don’t believe there’s any magical reason behind finding someone you’re very compatible with. Going back to what I already wrote in the beginning, I instead believe that magical thinking becomes that problematic, pedestal issue. From my perspective, this whole thing has just been an example of the rationalizing thing people do when reality doesn’t align with an ideal. we start out with this loaded concept of ‘soulmate’, which you and I both agree is an unrealistic expectation.. however, instead we have this whole thread about how we’re still going to call something a soulmate even though we don’t believe that entails what the word means, simply because we want to still be able to call the perceived relationship/person a soulmate, because we want to believe there is a magical component to it where it’s not enough to simply call them very compatible because very compatible isn’t magical enough, isn’t pillar enough.. and round and round it goes @Reject

@WhateverWorks I believe a lot of people follow the reality they know when approaching the word soulmate which is wrong because that word is defined by your ideal which is something you see. What you know and what you can see are different things.