I Found My Soulmate
Part I. Found her.
It's kinda long. But I want to say it. The reason I'm constantly at battle with myself. The reason I don't let people get close anymore. The reason I can't love anymore.
I found her 16 years ago, when I was just a little kid in elementary school. My young heart was drawn to her. But I never had the courage to go talk to her. Oh no ! I was an idiot. Shy,introverted,scared of girls ! I never talked to her even though I saw her everyday, and so we never met back in school. Her family moved out of the country 5 years later and I thought I'd never, ever see her again.
Years later, after high school, college and couple of relationships, I was ready to take on anything the world threw at me. So I'd gotten out of a 4 year relationship just a few months back and was still in recovery mode. And then after almost a decade, she walked into my life again. It all started in our old school group in which I was really active. She thought I was interesting, asked our mutual best friend about me and then, started talking to me. This girl was rich, beautiful,totally out of my league and 1000's of miles away, and yet the way we connected, it was almost magical. But, I had to control myself. She'd been in a serious relationship for the past 5 years. They were having problems but she was trying to make it work. Me... I supported her. We became best friends in just a couple of weeks and I was determined I wasn't going to screw this up. It was like we broke down each other's walls, and was staring into the soul. The more we talked, the more we realized what this was. She had found a guy who was exact like her. I had found the girl version of me! We had the same interests, same likes, same dislikes, same attitude towards life, same field of work and apparently even the same best friends from school ! I always wonder why it is that we never met back then..other than me being the idiot I was. But when I think about it, I realize we couldn't have connected this way back then. It was all about the timing. She was in a dilemma though. She was in a relationship with her first love, and then she found someone who could turn out to be much much more... But as it turns out, the universe works in mysterious ways. Shit happened and she had to break up with him. She flew to me, we met up and it was beautiful. It didn't feel like I was seeing her after almost a decade. It didn't matter that she was meeting me in person for the first time. It was so natural, the feeling inexplicable. We found something most people search for their entire lives. Pure love, zero lust. I just wanted to love this woman. Love her like there was no tomorrow, for the rest of my life. That feeling you get when you look into the eyes of the woman you thought you had zero chance with, and realize that she is head over heels in love with you...Bliss ! And thus began the most beautiful phase of my life. Short, but beautiful.*sigh* Nothing lasts forever. The universe had been toying with us ever since we were kids. And it wasn't done yet. But, we'll come to that later.
It's kinda long. But I want to say it. The reason I'm constantly at battle with myself. The reason I don't let people get close anymore. The reason I can't love anymore.
I found her 16 years ago, when I was just a little kid in elementary school. My young heart was drawn to her. But I never had the courage to go talk to her. Oh no ! I was an idiot. Shy,introverted,scared of girls ! I never talked to her even though I saw her everyday, and so we never met back in school. Her family moved out of the country 5 years later and I thought I'd never, ever see her again.
Years later, after high school, college and couple of relationships, I was ready to take on anything the world threw at me. So I'd gotten out of a 4 year relationship just a few months back and was still in recovery mode. And then after almost a decade, she walked into my life again. It all started in our old school group in which I was really active. She thought I was interesting, asked our mutual best friend about me and then, started talking to me. This girl was rich, beautiful,totally out of my league and 1000's of miles away, and yet the way we connected, it was almost magical. But, I had to control myself. She'd been in a serious relationship for the past 5 years. They were having problems but she was trying to make it work. Me... I supported her. We became best friends in just a couple of weeks and I was determined I wasn't going to screw this up. It was like we broke down each other's walls, and was staring into the soul. The more we talked, the more we realized what this was. She had found a guy who was exact like her. I had found the girl version of me! We had the same interests, same likes, same dislikes, same attitude towards life, same field of work and apparently even the same best friends from school ! I always wonder why it is that we never met back then..other than me being the idiot I was. But when I think about it, I realize we couldn't have connected this way back then. It was all about the timing. She was in a dilemma though. She was in a relationship with her first love, and then she found someone who could turn out to be much much more... But as it turns out, the universe works in mysterious ways. Shit happened and she had to break up with him. She flew to me, we met up and it was beautiful. It didn't feel like I was seeing her after almost a decade. It didn't matter that she was meeting me in person for the first time. It was so natural, the feeling inexplicable. We found something most people search for their entire lives. Pure love, zero lust. I just wanted to love this woman. Love her like there was no tomorrow, for the rest of my life. That feeling you get when you look into the eyes of the woman you thought you had zero chance with, and realize that she is head over heels in love with you...Bliss ! And thus began the most beautiful phase of my life. Short, but beautiful.*sigh* Nothing lasts forever. The universe had been toying with us ever since we were kids. And it wasn't done yet. But, we'll come to that later.
