I Am In Love With Someone I Can't Have

And its not the cushy nice feeling. Its screwing me up in ways I have never thought was possible. I hardly eat or sleep. And when I go to bed, there is this block in my chest, that wont let me cry or even breathe. I dont know how to move past this. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I was in a relationship for three years, and when I broke up, i had bad time, but I came to terms with it.

This new thing, its killing me inside. I like the guy, he is ignoring me. From weeks. He is getting married. He would talk and then stop. I wish for a closure I dont get, answers I dont get. He blocked me from everywhere (only cz I almost harassed him). All the promises broken. I wonder, what is it about him? We werent even in a relationship. I have never liked somebody like him either. He doesnt have one quality from the list of stuff I always look for in a guy. Not a thing. still I am head over heels, and obsessed. Just cz I cant have him? I dont know. I cant handle most of these feelings and they are playing a major setback in my life. I have a lot of stuff that needs to be done and are more important. But I just cant concentrate. I just want these feelings to go away. I have not only lost somebody I like, but I lost him as a friend too. and thats hurting me even more.

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DarkestDespair

We often want what we cannot have. Sometimes, we don't even want it until we come to the realization that it is now denied to us.
It's hard to lose a friend. He might be distancing himself from you because he doesn't know how to deal with your advances, or he is unwilling to balance those while maintaining his current relationship. I'm sorry that you are hurting, but you will find someone and the pain will subside.

Bbgv14 · 31-35, F

hope so. I am sad I lost a friend too. thats all. I could have stopped myself being stupid!

DarkestDespair

Perhaps, although you don't have to wonder about what could have happened had you not made those choices. I've developed feelings for friends in the past, and suppressed those feelings because I didn't want to make things "awkward". Many times even today I wonder if things would have been different had I said something to them. Would I be happy? Would she have been the one? Conversely, I've actually made the choice to tell others how I felt, and while I may have lost that connection to those friends; I wasn't left second guessing my past indiscretions. That bridge might have been burnt, but I could take another path and not have to keep looking back. I know it hurts now and I'm sorry that you are suffering, but I think it is something that you can overcome in your journey forward. Take care, and don't judge yourself too harshly.

Bbgv14 · 31-35, F

thank you, you are right. I shall stop overthinking. Thank you again for your kind words! Its just hard right now. I am unable to handle the ignoring and everything

DarkestDespair

The journey is not an easy one, but I do believe that the destination will be worth it.

Bbgv14 · 31-35, F

god! I hope so!