I miss my Mistress :(
[This is a personal experience that I am putting here because there isn't anywhere else I can write about it. If you don't have anything nice to say about it just don't say anything!]
About four years ago I connected with someone on here who became my online Mistress until a few months ago when our relationship broke down (through my thoughtlessness). During our years together, I gave her power over me; she became the focus of my erotic and romantic desires and of my religious feelings, the Goddess I worshipped. She delighted in that power and she was also so loving and desirous of me.
Since then I have been missing her desperately but also reflecting on how very fortunate I was to find her. On here, since then, I have connected with some wonderful people but without erotic sparks between us, and I've also had some erotic fun but without a sense of real connection. Mistress and I had both -- a strong erotic connection and a close friendship.
I've also been in contact on here with some catfish and some sex workers. The internet as a whole is much the same: there are lots of people offering something similar to the kind of domination that Mistress gave me, but only for pay, and without any friendship, and many of them are catfish too. Besides, virtually all the online dommes cater to men who wish to be insulted and degraded, which is not a turn-on for me at all.
The more I think about it the more I realize what a one-in-a-million chance I had in finding Mistress -- and that my chance of finding any such experience with anyone else is basically nil.
So I am trying to adjust and refocus, and accept my new reality as an older, sadder, and wiser man.
May all of you who are in good rewarding relationships, whether or not they are accepted in society, enjoy your good fortune. May all of us find good love in our lives.
About four years ago I connected with someone on here who became my online Mistress until a few months ago when our relationship broke down (through my thoughtlessness). During our years together, I gave her power over me; she became the focus of my erotic and romantic desires and of my religious feelings, the Goddess I worshipped. She delighted in that power and she was also so loving and desirous of me.
Since then I have been missing her desperately but also reflecting on how very fortunate I was to find her. On here, since then, I have connected with some wonderful people but without erotic sparks between us, and I've also had some erotic fun but without a sense of real connection. Mistress and I had both -- a strong erotic connection and a close friendship.
I've also been in contact on here with some catfish and some sex workers. The internet as a whole is much the same: there are lots of people offering something similar to the kind of domination that Mistress gave me, but only for pay, and without any friendship, and many of them are catfish too. Besides, virtually all the online dommes cater to men who wish to be insulted and degraded, which is not a turn-on for me at all.
The more I think about it the more I realize what a one-in-a-million chance I had in finding Mistress -- and that my chance of finding any such experience with anyone else is basically nil.
So I am trying to adjust and refocus, and accept my new reality as an older, sadder, and wiser man.
May all of you who are in good rewarding relationships, whether or not they are accepted in society, enjoy your good fortune. May all of us find good love in our lives.
61-69
