I Need You I Miss You

I miss you sooooo much I never thought I would cry this much n many times where I was holding my tears backing biting my tongue till it bled to hide the tears and be strong for my family but sometimes I can't hold it anymore. I miss everything about you, everything. It still doesn't feel real to me. It feels like I'm dreaming like I'm having those dreams that seem real but you know are fake n I'm just waiting to wake up from this nightmare. Its been 3 days since you left 3 sleepless nights where I wish I could hug you again n just hold on let you know again that I love you. You were very humble to everyone you made friends everywhere you went. Ever since you left people have been flying from all over to come. People who were hours away got came to see you within minutes. I hope you can see everyone who came cuz you were one of the most important persons they have met. You were always strong and never gave up. Even when you got cancer you said your ok its nothing you did cry a bit but you fought, even when sickness pilled up you fought it not letting it pull you down, you fought cancer with kidney stones, water in your lungs, with your stomach being cut out you never gave up always taking care of us, even when we took care of you, you always were taking care of us. You said you were gonna beat cancer and you did you finally beat cancer 3 days ago but then hours later... Your heart gave up ... Your heart gave up in my uncles arms n he tried his best to get you help but nothing could have been done n we all miss you I really wish you could be here to see everyone n so I can hug you again. Grandma you were my mom, you gave me a lot you gave me everything. You helped me go back to college you pushed me to keep going n let me know you trusted me when I would come back late. Its been 3 days n I just wanna hug you again you showed me to always be strong n have faith no matter how dark things look always have faith. I wanna hug you so bad ... Just one more hug just one more. When I came back from school I couldn't but cry cuz it felt like you were gonna be home waiting for me n I could talk to you n tell you what we did that day but you won't be there anymore, I won't hear your voice I won't feel your hugs I won't hear the words "I love you" or "be careful" anymore many people say they regret not doing this or doing that but I don't regret anything cuz no matter what you always gave me lessons and you were always there for me. You took me in when I was 12 n I had no where to go you took me in when I was kicked out my house you were always there. N now you arnt here anymore n it hurts. There's a picture of you sitting on your bed n when I had to bring it out it felt like I was helping you up to say hi to everyone who came to visit us but it wasn't you anymore it was just a picture that I wish was really you. But you always said "Life stops for no one so no matter what happens keep living your life, don't stop" n I wanna thank you for everything you taught me n I will do my very best to be strong n keep on going no matter what. I just miss you. N now its my turn to make you proud. I love you n miss you very much


Until we meet again, I love you