on being the big spoon [I Like to Kiss and Cuddle]
You know, it's weird how I don't really cuddle with anyone irl because my life just isn't really at that point and COVID-19 exists, but I'm kind of like obsessed with the idea and I say I like doing it. But all I can really say I like for certain is imagining cuddling, which... I mean, imagining a physical sensation is deeply linked to actually experiencing it on a neurological level. So maybe that's fair.
I like being the big spoon, which I just feel like it's the most comforting choice to me. And it's also sorta the traditional male role in heterosexual relationships. Maybe that's just because the man is typically taller, but I've always sort of thought of it as being like, the protector role. Like, you're wrapped around her, shielding her in the cold and uncertainty of the night. And in a way, it's like the big spoon is the cuddler and the little spoon is the cuddlee; the former is the one holding the two close and wrapping their arms around the little spoon. The big spoon can kiss and breathe on the little spoon, but it's difficult to do that the other way around. All the little spoon is really supposed to do is lie there and enjoy it (not that either job is particularly hard lol).
But then on the flipside, there is something inherently comforting about holding onto someone with the front of your body. First off, think about the fetal position -- when humans feel scared or weak, we pull our knees to our chest and tuck our head down to protect the front of our torso. We do this not just to appear small, but because the front of the torso is just a very vulnerable area. And when you smush someone else up against that, you're protecting your own soft spot. But then the little spoon's abdomen isn't protected and they choose between leaving themselves vulnerable or embracing a pillow... the latter of which is kinda like finding a way to be the big spoon without being the big spoon. In any case though, the little spoon is really the one protecting the big spoon.
And honestly, that second theory about being the big spoon is a lot more consistant with my experience as a human. I do sleep partway curled up like that and I feel safer when my chest is protected by my weighted blanket or something. But also, I think it runs a little deeper than that because showing affection is, to me, at least as comforting and meaningful as receiving it. In fact, I'd say it's moreso. Maybe that's the real reason why men are conventionally the big spoon; we're conventionally the ones who show interest first and we conventionally take on the dominant role during sex. Perhaps this is just an extension of the fact that in traditionalism, it's a woman's job to be worthy of a man's pursuit and adoration and it's the man's job to pursue and adore her.
This is probably a fridge temperature IQ take and this has probably already been studied by scientists to exhaustion. Honestly, I can't even imagine a good reason to read this post.
I like being the big spoon, which I just feel like it's the most comforting choice to me. And it's also sorta the traditional male role in heterosexual relationships. Maybe that's just because the man is typically taller, but I've always sort of thought of it as being like, the protector role. Like, you're wrapped around her, shielding her in the cold and uncertainty of the night. And in a way, it's like the big spoon is the cuddler and the little spoon is the cuddlee; the former is the one holding the two close and wrapping their arms around the little spoon. The big spoon can kiss and breathe on the little spoon, but it's difficult to do that the other way around. All the little spoon is really supposed to do is lie there and enjoy it (not that either job is particularly hard lol).
But then on the flipside, there is something inherently comforting about holding onto someone with the front of your body. First off, think about the fetal position -- when humans feel scared or weak, we pull our knees to our chest and tuck our head down to protect the front of our torso. We do this not just to appear small, but because the front of the torso is just a very vulnerable area. And when you smush someone else up against that, you're protecting your own soft spot. But then the little spoon's abdomen isn't protected and they choose between leaving themselves vulnerable or embracing a pillow... the latter of which is kinda like finding a way to be the big spoon without being the big spoon. In any case though, the little spoon is really the one protecting the big spoon.
And honestly, that second theory about being the big spoon is a lot more consistant with my experience as a human. I do sleep partway curled up like that and I feel safer when my chest is protected by my weighted blanket or something. But also, I think it runs a little deeper than that because showing affection is, to me, at least as comforting and meaningful as receiving it. In fact, I'd say it's moreso. Maybe that's the real reason why men are conventionally the big spoon; we're conventionally the ones who show interest first and we conventionally take on the dominant role during sex. Perhaps this is just an extension of the fact that in traditionalism, it's a woman's job to be worthy of a man's pursuit and adoration and it's the man's job to pursue and adore her.
This is probably a fridge temperature IQ take and this has probably already been studied by scientists to exhaustion. Honestly, I can't even imagine a good reason to read this post.
