I Need Someone to Cuddle With I Hate Being Alone
I have been having a lot of soreness in my neck and shoulders in the mornings. Since my lower back also bothers me some, I just assumed it was the usual myofascial pain I've been having on and off for several years now.
I realized, though, what may be causing at least the shoulder and neck stiffness, which gets better throughout the course of the day and with stretching (unlike the lower back pain, which usually gets worse throughout the day and responds better to deep pressure applied to trigger points.) At night I sleep cuddling a pillow very tightly. I have been doing this my entire life, although it was a blanket in my younger years (up til 11, then I switched to a pillow/blanket combo, often referring to it by my current crush's name.) I also wrap myself up snugly in blankets each night before going to sleep, kind of like a cocoon. I like the pressure all over my body like I'm being held tightly, but I usually end up wriggling out of it during the course of sleep.
I only had one partner who was a good cuddler; I never needed to bring my cuddle pillow and blanket to his house when we were together. I also had almost no trouble sleeping and far less anxiety when we were together, and our emotional connection was very deep. Still, there were some things lacking in our relationship that would have made it so much more fulfilling if they had been present, but that's not why we are not together anymore. Sadly, he died of cancer 6 years ago.
As much as I love really tight cuddling, I'm going to have to back off a bit or I'm going to have a permanent crick in my neck and uncomfortable shoulder tightness that causes me to want to stretch my arms over my head all the time (coworkers, family, and friends have commented on how I tend to do that a lot.) Maybe someday I'll find someone to cuddle me back, and so I won't cling as tightly as I do to my pillow every night (especially after a stressful day.)
I realized, though, what may be causing at least the shoulder and neck stiffness, which gets better throughout the course of the day and with stretching (unlike the lower back pain, which usually gets worse throughout the day and responds better to deep pressure applied to trigger points.) At night I sleep cuddling a pillow very tightly. I have been doing this my entire life, although it was a blanket in my younger years (up til 11, then I switched to a pillow/blanket combo, often referring to it by my current crush's name.) I also wrap myself up snugly in blankets each night before going to sleep, kind of like a cocoon. I like the pressure all over my body like I'm being held tightly, but I usually end up wriggling out of it during the course of sleep.
I only had one partner who was a good cuddler; I never needed to bring my cuddle pillow and blanket to his house when we were together. I also had almost no trouble sleeping and far less anxiety when we were together, and our emotional connection was very deep. Still, there were some things lacking in our relationship that would have made it so much more fulfilling if they had been present, but that's not why we are not together anymore. Sadly, he died of cancer 6 years ago.
As much as I love really tight cuddling, I'm going to have to back off a bit or I'm going to have a permanent crick in my neck and uncomfortable shoulder tightness that causes me to want to stretch my arms over my head all the time (coworkers, family, and friends have commented on how I tend to do that a lot.) Maybe someday I'll find someone to cuddle me back, and so I won't cling as tightly as I do to my pillow every night (especially after a stressful day.)
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