I Am Craving Physical Contact

OK, so I'm 56 years old and have been married for nearly 35 years. Problem is, the last 10 years of my union with my dear wife have been almost entirely devoid of intimate contact. The last 6 years has been a complete dry spell.

I have tried talking with her about this but it pretty much always comes back to her same response: "I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested in that anymore." It is frustrating because she just does not seem to want to even try to make it any better.

I guess I could understand her disinterest if I were hateful or abusive or a slovenly couch potato type, but I have worked very hard to take care of myself. And I more than hold up my end when it comes to the day-to-day stuff around home. I feel very much unappreciated but I'm afraid I'm way too old to consider divorce.

Anybody got any suggestions?

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Docdon23 · M

same here...I visit tantra teachers, do yoga and the gym and meditate, masturbate a lot, and look for other things we have in common...and keep trying

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@Docdon23 By hearing that I am very happy and released that I am not more married.

Docdon23 · M

@Loretta78 explain?

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@Docdon23 Sex is not the all marriage but a part of a good marriage - so as love, appreciation, trust, open talks etc. etc.

Then I read your comment: You are in the same situation so as Spartan92 and you do a lot of things to compensate that you live in a sexless marriage too so as yoga, gym, meditation etc. - and you still keep TRYING!

And this really honors you. But I think it's not fair when only one partner is trying and the other one isn't.

To be honest: I don't think that I would have the patience for that. I've tried about two years everything to keep my marriage but after two years I had to leave. And this doesn't mean that I am asking you or Spartan92 to leave too because everyone handles a situation like this in a different way.

I just hope for you and Spartan92 that it's worth for you to keep trying and that one day you will have success with that. It would be really sad if you would keep trying for nothing.

But that's just MY opinion. :-)

Docdon23 · M

@Loretta78 I very much appreciate your explanation. It is frustrating sometime. I have kids and grand kids...they are worth my continuing to try...and we do share other interests... but...

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@Docdon23 I hear you and I really do appreciate it that you are thinking of your kids and grandkids.

But it's YOUR life. YOU AND your wife have to be happy first of all.

Your kids and grandkids wouldn't be the first kids and grandkids in this world who have separate parents/grandparents.

Have you ever talked openly with your wife about what bothers you?

Docdon23 · M

@Loretta78 yes...she does not own things...pulls on my emotions--I stuck by her as she had cancer twice...and now...very complex

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@Docdon23 As I said it before: It's YOUR life and happiness - and also YOUR wife's life and happiness.

I hope you'll find a good and right way out of that situation.

Docdon23 · M

@Loretta78 thank you--an I hope you find peace and happiness as well...we all deserve it...

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@Docdon23 You are very welcome! 🤗